Sticking With Science
by ATPD
Summary: Ed and Mustang go undercover at Hogwarts, Edward posing as an exchange student, Mustang the new alchemy professor. With the school guarding an unknown object and Ed keeping an eye out for any disturbances, Ed is only sure of one thing, he rather liked it when everything could be explained with science. NO PAIRINGS! HP book 1 Rating for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Edward kicked the office door open as usual, nodded to Hawkeye and then sat down in front of the smug man sitting behind the desk.

"Alright, Colonel, what is it you wanted me for?"

"The Führer has requested that you go undercover at a school for the next year. I myself will be posing as a teacher."

"What?! Why, Where?"

"It's a boarding school in Scotland."

"Scotland?! What the hell?!"

The Colonel sighed. "The headmaster will be arriving in the next few minutes to describe the circumstances."

No later than he had said it, there was a sharp CRACK and an old man with long hair and beard was standing in the middle of the office, looking pleasantly at them.

Ed reacted instantly. He clapped his hands and with a flash of blue lightning, he transmuted the protective plating on his right arm into his trademark blade. Two seconds later, the stranger was lying on his back on the floor with the blade pointed at his chest.

For some reason, the man chuckled merrily from where Ed had pinned him to the floor.

"What the hell! How did you do that? Who the hell are you? STOP LAUGHING, DAMMIT!"

"I'm sorry, dear boy, but that is the first time in about sixty years that anyone has even dared to jump me. I have to say you did a remarkable job."

Ed just stared. Who the hell was this man?

"I guess I should present myself. My name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. I am the headmaster of Hogwarts. I was told by your leader to meet at Colonel Roy Mustang's office at East Headquarters in Amestris, I hope I got the location right?" he said pleasantly.

"You still haven't told me how you did that!"

"That is quite simple, dear boy, I apparated."

"You what?"

"Apparition, the art of disappearing from one place, to almost instantly reappear at another. It's something that we wizards can do, after we have passed the test, of course."

There was only one word that had stuck with Ed.

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC NOW TELL ME THE TRUTH BEFORE I HIT YOU!"

The man seemed unperturbed. "I am telling the truth, dear boy. Magic is a very real thing, let me show you."

He then pulled a stick out of his robes and pointed it at the Colonel's desk, instantly transforming it into a wooden horse that began galloping in circles around the room.

Ed's jaw dropped.

That wasn't possible.

It just wasn't.

But the Colonel's desk was fucking neighing.

And the annoying man was chuckling at Ed and Mustang's reaction.

Ed had to admit, it was hard to pretend that magic wasn't real right now.

"Like I said, magic."

"So you're the headmaster of this school in Scotland?"

"Yes, I am. Now who may you be? Are you perhaps the son of one of the people who works here?"

"I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric," Ed growled. He had worked damned hard for that title, he was not going to be patronised now.

"But how old are you?" His eyebrows had furrowed slightly.

"Thirteen."

"And you are a part of the military?"

"Yes. And I'm a damn prodigy!"

"In that case, I am very happy to make your acquaintance." He extended his left hand so that he could shake Ed's who reluctantly took it, staring at the man who could be so calm about all this. "Now, if you kindly would get off my chest, I believe it is time that I put your superior's desk back to its normal way of not chewing on the windowsill."

Ed got off the man but still eyed him suspiciously.

The man stood up much more graciously than Ed would have expected of him. He then said some funny words and pointed his stick at the horse, which instantly trotted over to where it should stand in front of Mustang who was sitting there, terrified with his gloved fingers poised to snap.

The man waved the stick and the horse transformed back into a desk.

"Well, that was fun," the man said, grinning.

"I think this makes you Colonel Mustang?" the man said, extending his hand for Mustang to shake. "Albus Dumbledore, it's a pleasure to meet you."

The Colonel seemed to regain his usual manner of being, although he still looked slightly alarmed.

The two of them shook hands and then Dumbledore sat down on the chair in front of the desk. He then looked at Ed and smacked his forehead theatrically. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Edward. Forgive my manners in my old age." He then waved his stick and a chair appeared out of nowhere.

Ed just stared at it.

"Aren't you going to sit down?" Dumbledore asked.

"How the hell do you bypass the law of Equivalent Exchange like that?!"

"Magic is not bound by the same rules as your alchemy. There are a few exceptions of course, like Gamp's Laws of Elemental Transfiguration. But you need to understand that magic is not a science."

Ed was pretty sure he hated the man.

He sat down on the annoyingly comfy chair and crossed his arms, scowling at the man. "Now what do you want us for?"

"I'm interested in being able to put alchemy on the curriculum, and is it is far more advanced here than any other places, I figured I should ask for the best of the best. The State Alchemists are supposed to be highly skilled after all."

"That does not explain what you want with me being undercover."

"It just so happens that this year, Hogwarts will be guarding a certain artefact that would be best kept secret. As a student you would be able to keep a much less suspicious eye on both the staff and the students, should something be amiss."

Ed watched his eyes intently, trying to read what they hid.

"There's something else too," Ed concluded.

"There is a certain student that will be attending his first year at Hogwarts that I would like you to keep an eye on too."

"Who is he?"

"His name is Harry Potter and I believe he has a deadly enemy just biding his time. It began many years ago as the darkest wizard that has ever been known, decided to target him when he was just a baby. His name is Voldemort and he killed Harry's parents, but for some reason Harry survived the killing curse and it rebounded instead upon Voldemort. Voldemort is by many now believed to be dead and Harry is famous for it. I, on the other hand, think that Voldemort is merely hiding, waiting to find something that can bring him back to his former self. The object that is being guarded by Hogwarts is something that can do just that."

Ed felt funny hearing this sort of thing. It sounded silly, really, but if an orphaned kid really was in as much danger as Dumbledore thought, it wouldn't be fair if Ed just dismissed it as the ramblings of an old man. Besides, the way he said it, made Ed instantly trust his words. There was something about his eyes and his voice that hinted at a frankly stunning intellect.

"So what's my story?" Ed said, deciding on believing the strange wizard.

"I was thinking something along the lines of you joining your uncle at Hogwarts as an exchange student."

"Uncle?! No way in hell!"

"Then what do you suggest, young man?" Dumbledore seemed genuinely interested.

"Something other than that! I'm not gonna pretend that the bastard Colonel is my uncle!"

Mustang sighed. "Fullmetal, it would be far easier to not arouse suspicion, especially seeing as how you are not a wizard."

"And it would also help in explaining your alchemic prowess," Dumbledore supplied.

Ed groaned. "Fine! But I will not be sharing the same quarters as him!"

"Of course. He will be receiving a room of his own as a teacher, while you will be sleeping in the dorms with your fellow students."

"And what about Al?"

"He will have to stay here, Fullmetal."

Ed felt his heart clench. "So you're gonna separate me from my brother for a whole year?! No way."

Mustang sighed, his face turning strict. "You will, and that's an order."

Ed growled, cursing. Dumbledore was humming, obviously turning deaf in order to give him some privacy. "Fine! But how do I keep in contact?"

"Owl post," Dumbledore said.

"What?"

"Owl post. It is the way we wizards communicate with each other long distance when it isn't too urgent or we don't know the recipient's location."

"You wizards are mad, you know that?"

"It has been said. Now the school will begin on the first day of September, you will take the Hogwarts Express from London's King's Cross Station. Colonel Mustang will use floo powder as many of the other teachers. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an urgent meeting with the Ministry."

And so the man disappeared with another CRACK and all that was left were two scrolls of parchment, one labelled "Edward Elric" and the other "Colonel Mustang".

"Did this conversation really just happen?" Edward said, picking up the scroll of parchment with his name on, handing the other to Mustang.

Ed opened his, and read through it quickly.

_**Dear Edward,**_

_**Thank you for agreeing to my invitation.**_

_**As you can surely guess, none of the students or the staff other than me and Colonel Mustang will be aware of your true identity as a military officer.**_

_**Despite your true age of thirteen, you will be placed with the first years as you have no magical education and it gives you an opportunity to look closer after Harry Potter.**_

_**Your lessons will be centred around you doing the alchemic equivalent of the tasks set by the teachers, which I expect will be highly illuminating for both the faculty and the students.**_

_**Enclosed is a list of all necessary books and equipment. Your commanding officer has received the necessary instructions on how to buy the school supplies and how to get to London.**_

_**Enclosed is also an amulet with a translation spell for you to wear.**_

_**See you on September First.**_

_**Yours sincerely,**_

_**Albus Dumbledore.**_

Ed picked up a small locket that had fallen out of the scroll, eyeing it sceptically. It didn't look too bad, actually. Ed didn't know how, but Dumbledore had managed to copy the flamel sign that was on the back of his coat, and somehow put it inside the red stone that hung at the end of the gold chain.

He looked at the book list and scoffed. Those titles sounded pretty far-fetched, especially when they were paired with their respective authors.

_Yes, and your commanding officer shares his surname with a breed of horse._

Ed smirked, he was beginning to like Dumbledore, slightly, because the desk had been looking rather like a certain wild horse, come to think of it.

_But Dumbledore sounds a bit like an insult that four-year-olds would throw at each other…_

Okay.

Ed began adding up the normal-sounding names he could think of within the military.

_So basically, me and Alphonse sound pretty normal all the way through our names, and then it just gets strange no matter whether it's magical or not…_

Mustang suddenly cleared his throat. "Fullmetal, it seems that we're going shopping tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?"

"Because I just want to get this over and done with while I actually believe that it's true. Besides, it says here that we need to use the fireplace and that it is only usable for this thing tomorrow between eight in the morning and four in the afternoon."

"What "thing"?"

"Floo powder." He held up a brown bag with a piece of string knotted carefully around it. "We throw it in the fireplace and say where we want to go, and it will take us to a pub."

"A pub."

"At least I think it's a pub. It sounds like a pub."

"What's the name?"

"It's called "The Leaky Cauldron.""


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much to the people who have already followed this story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or HP.**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Ed was standing in Mustang's office, they were both staring at the fireplace, waiting to see if something would happen to it to signify that the coast was clear. They both had their amulets on.

Mustang picked up his pocket watch, he had gone with regular clothes today and was wearing a white shirt and and grey trousers. Ed was wearing his usual red and black.

"One minute to go," Mustang declared.

When it said eight o'clock, nothing happened to the fireplace.

"Do we wait?" Ed asked.

"Yes. Let's give it a few more minutes."

"Sir, why are you still here?" Hawkeye asked curiously at half past eight.

"We're waiting to see if something happens."

"Colonel, didn't it state that _you_ had to start the fire first?" she said with a sigh.

"You're right." He slid his right ignition glove onto his hand and snapped, making the fire crackle merrily within seconds. He removed his glove and then picked up the little bag, eyeing it sceptically. "Okay, so then I just throw in a pinch of this…"

The fire immediately turned green as the powder made contact.

The two alchemists didn't really find it to be very comforting that they merely changed the colour of the flames.

"So what's next, Colonel?"

"We step into the flames one by one."

"WE WHAT?!"

" – And shout out the name of the pub."

"Then you go first."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the Flame Alchemist."

"Fair point. Hold this." He held out the bag for Ed to hold. "And Hawkeye?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"If I get seriously injured by this, make sure that I get my own room at the hospital."

"Yes, Sir."

"And a hot nurse."

Hawkeye sighed. "Just go, Colonel."

Ed watched as Mustang carefully edged closer to the flames, the pinch of Floo Powder held in his right hand.

Then he took a step into the flames.

And nothing happened, his clothes didn't catch on fire, he wasn't screaming in agony as his skin melted.

He just stood there.

Then he shouted "The Leaky Cauldron!" while throwing the powder into the flames.

And he vanished in a puff of green smoke.

Ed turned around to look at Hawkeye. She still employed her usual professional manner of being, but her slightly parted lips gave her away.

Ed took a pinch of the powder in his left hand.

"Oh, Edward!" Hawkeye said.

"Yes?" Ed turned around, shaking slightly.

"It would be better for appearances if you called the Colonel by his first name."

"Oh, yeah, thanks."

"Good luck."

Ed nodded, then he strode over to the fireplace and into the flames. He shouted "The Leaky Cauldron!" as he threw the powder to the ground beneath him, and immediately wished he hadn't as everything in front of him began spinning as he raced across fireplaces. He closed his eyes, hoping for it to stop, and then suddenly he fell out of the fireplace and onto the floor in front of him.

**_Shit! I just used magic! I actually travelled by magic!_**

**_And I NEVER WANNA DO IT AGAIN!_**

"Hey, yeh alright, kid?" a stranger asked. Ed turned his head to the right, his eyes falling upon a large pair of boots.

They were even bigger than Armstrong's.

"Yeah, I think so." Ed felt slightly dizzy and was fighting the urge to vomit. A large hand suddenly pulled him up by his hood, before another hand began brushing soot off of him. Ed was about to tell the man to stop it, but upon realising that he was ten feet tall, fell silent. He had enormous hair and beard, but he had a gentle smile on his face.

"Lookin' at yeh, one would almost say yeh haven't travelled by Floo Powder before. Yeh here alone?"

"N-no, my uncle is around here somewhere, he went first."

Ed's eyes quickly landed upon a familiar black-haired man sitting at the bar, and he pointed at him. "That's him right there."

"An' he juss went an' found himself a drink while leavin' yeh alone?"

Ed just nodded once, the man looked angry.

"Hey, Tom! Yeh shouldn' be servin' people tha' neglects their nephews!" he shouted at the barman.

"Hagrid! You should have seen the poor fellow, looked dead on his feet, could hardly get him off the floor. First time travelling with Floo Powder!"

"Both of yeh? How d'yeh usually travel then?" Hagrid asked Ed curiously.

"Train."

"Then why didn't yeh do so now?"

"We don't live in this country. I'm an exchange student."

"So yer the one Professor Dumbledore talked about! Edward, wassn' it?" He lit up, smiling warmly.

"Yeah, you know Dumbledore?"

"Of course! I'm here on a mission fer him!"

He gestured towards a boy with black hair and glasses standing behind him and looking scared.

"Bless my soul! It's Harry Potter!" the barman said.

Ed eyed the kid, he didn't really seem that special. A bit thin and wearing baggy clothes that obviously didn't originally belong to him, but that was it.

The rest of the people in the pub, save Mustang, all began whispering excitedly before clamouring to go over and shake the poor boy's hand.

Hagrid smiled widely and then strode over to Mustang, who was indeed looking like he had needed the drink that stood in front of him. "Which muss mean tha' yer Professor Mustang!"

Ed watched as people kept going back to shake Harry's hand and felt rather sorry for him.

"Professor Quirrel! Yer here too? Come meet the new Alchemy professor!" Ed watched as Mustang said hello to a stuttering man with a turban on his head. "Yeh too, Harry! Edward!"

Ed just followed the kid over to his "uncle".

"S-s-so p-p-pleased to m-m-meet you b-b-both!" the man stammered.

"This is Professor Quirrel, he'll be teachin' yeh Defence Agains' the Dark Arts." Hagrid turned towards Ed and Mustang as Quirrel left them. "I guess I've been forgettin' me manners! Edward, this is Harry Potter. Harry, this here is Edward Elric an' his uncle, Professor Mustang, they've come all the way from Amestris. They're alchemists."

Ed shook hands with the boy, as did the Colonel.

"I expect tha' yer here ter buy the school supplies? Why don't yeh join us?"

Mustang looked at Edward and then smiled at the giant. "We would like that very much, thank you, Hagrid."

"Great! Now follow me!"

Hagrid chatted happily with Mustang who was keeping up a pleasant, uncle-y façade, while Ed walked behind them together with Harry.

Harry looked at Ed before he spoke in a low voice, "So Edward, do you know any wizards?"

"Well, I've talked to Dumbledore, Hagrid, Professor Quirrel and you, so that's four."

"So you're not a wizard?"

"Not as far as I know. I'm a scientist, alchemy isn't magic after all."

"Oh. So you're a Muggle?"

"A what?"

"I think that's what Hagrid called non-magic people."

"Oh, I guess I am."

"And your uncle?"

"Nope, just a Muggle."

Ed liked the word, at least to describe Mustang. It sounded slightly like an insult.

"So you don't know anything about magic then?"

"No, Dumbledore came to our offi-_home_ yesterday and before that I didn't even know that magic existed!"

Harry seemed to be cheered on slightly by that. "I didn't know that I was a wizard before Hagrid broke into the hut we were staying at and told me tonight."

"He broke into your house?"

"Yeah."

Ed shivered slightly. He had Armstrong-like pictures in his brain about Hagrid breaking down the door, sparkles surrounding his head, making extravagant announcements about Harry being a wizard.

"Something wrong?"

"No, I just have a vivid imagination."

"Oh. So you're an exchange student? What's that like?"

"Don't know yet. So far I've only got an amulet with a translation spell and been told that I don't have to buy a wand and that's it really."

"So what year will you be in?"

"The first. I'm thirteen, but I don't know any magic, so Dumbledore thought that it would be best that way."

Harry was about to say something when the rest of their quarry stopped in front of a brick wall in the courtyard behind the pub.

"What's wrong?" Ed asked.

"Apparently we're going through this wall," Mustang said.

Hagrid seemed to be wasting his time counting bricks, so Ed just pushed his way forward while clapping his hands, bringing them to the wall and in a flash of blue lightning, made a doorway appear in front of them. Behind it was a crowded street full of people and odd shops.

"Tha's alchemy?" Hagrid asked, dumbstruck.

"Yeah, now let's go," Ed said impatiently.

Harry caught up with him quickly.

"And you call that _science_? Because that looked a lot like magic to me."

"It isn't." Ed felt mildly insulted. "We alchemists use the tectonic energy that comes from the earth's movements. Massive amounts of energy are released with each earthquake for instance, and we in Amestris have merely found a way to harness that energy and use it to manipulate the elements. Alchemy is based around the law of Equivalent Exchange. Nothing just disappears. You can restructure the compounds at an atomic level, but you can't create something out of nothing. If you're transmuting something that's mostly water, you can only create something with the attributes of water. You see? Science. _Rules_."

Harry looked slightly lost. "And we're supposed to learn how to do that?" His eyes shone with fright.

"Well, you'll be starting out easy. You won't be expected to transmute something for a while."

"Oh. How long did you use before you transmuted for the first time?"

"A few hours. I picked up an alchemy book when I was five and it made sense to me, so I tried it out."

"You were **five**?"

"Yeah, but I'm a prodigy. I only know about one other person than me that can just clap to perform alchemy. Usually you have to draw a structural matrix to harness the energy. I have just found a way to make myself the matrix." Ed wasn't going to mention exactly how he had gained the knowledge to do so. After all, it would get him arrested if anyone knew about the human transmutation.

"Oh. It sounds difficult."

"It is. But like I said, you'll be starting out easy. I guess I can help you out with your homework." Ed gave him an encouraging smile. So far Ed thought he was doing a damned good job with getting to know the kid.

"You will? Thanks!"

"No proble – IS THAT A FUCKING **BROOMSTICK**!?" They had reached a shop called "Quality Quidditch Supplies".

Harry had jumped, obviously unnerved by Ed's outburst.

Quite a few people were looking at him, he even heard something that sounded like "Tsk, Muggle-borns."

Hagrid was laughing. "Yeah, it is, Edward."

Mustang was trying to keep his cool, but was obviously struggling.

"So you actually **fly** on them?"

"Yeah, we do, yeh'll be learnin' to do so, too."

Ed eyed the brooms sceptically. "NO WAY IN HELL!"

Hagrid just chuckled. "I thought yeh'd be excited at the idea of flyin'? Mos' Muggles are."

"I'm a scientist. Things like that shouldn't fly. There's no Equivalent Exchange involved in saying a few words and then the damned thing can **fly**!"

"Yeh think so? First time fer everythin' then. But there's no point juss gapin', we have things ter buy, which means we have ter visit Gringotts first."

He pointed towards a large, snowy-white building. "Tha's the wizardin' bank. Yeh'll be able ter change yer money into our currency."

As they got closer, their eyes fell upon a strange creature standing by the door, and Ed gasped.

"Is that a chimera?!"

For some reason, Hagrid stopped and pulled Ed away.

"Don' say stuff like that! It's insultin'! Don't yeh know yer magic creatures? Tha' looks nuthin' like a Chimaera, an' yeh know it."

"What the hell do you mean? If that's not a chimera, then what is it?!"

"Does he look like he's got a lion's head, goat's body an' the tail of a serpent?"

"What the heck are you talking about? A chimera is created alchemically "marrying" two or more dissimilar life forms! It's not just one type of creature, and it's created with SCIENCE!"

Hagrid looked confused. "I guess we're not talkin' about the same thing, then."

"I guess not. Now what the hell is that thing?"

"It's a goblin."

Ed looked at him, trying to see if he was serious or not. "You're not joking."

"Of course not!"

Mustang came over and put a hand on Ed's shoulder leading him towards the building. "Come now, Edward."

Hagrid began speaking with Harry, explaining a lot of things that Ed didn't even want to know, he was too freaked out by these creatures. He didn't like the way they were looking at him.

"Yeh'll be able ter change yer money over there while I take Harry ter his vault. Meet yeh outside when we're done." Hagrid pointed to a desk in the corner of the room.

Ed walked over to the desk together with Mustang while the goblin eyed them sceptically.

"Is there something I can do for you?" it asked in a sharp voice.

"We need to change some Amestrian cens into the local currency as well as a larger amount of wizards' money."

Ed was amazed that the Colonel was actually able to keep a straight face.

"What amount are we speaking of?"

"About two hundred pounds as well as however much we can get for five-hundred-thousand cens."

"I see, let me have the money, and I will be back shortly."

Mustang handed him two large wads of money.

The goblin left them for a few minutes before returning with a bag of coins as well as two hundred pounds cash, and handed it to them.

"Here you go."

"Thank you, Sir, I hope you have a pleasant day."

The goblin seemed slightly surprised for half a second, then he returned to looking grumpy as always

Ed took a look at the stuffed bag, and looked at Mustang.

"I think we may have slightly overdone it."

"Better to be safe than sorry. Let's buy you a wallet, the pounds are for you so that you can take a taxi on the first day of school. You'll be taking Floo Powder to The Leaky Cauldron and then a taxi from there to the train station."

"Oh, okay."

They stood outside the bank, watching the many wizards and witches passing them in funny-looking cloaks. Ed was usually curious by nature, but this was way too much for him. It felt wrong just watching things that floated in the air without really being able to do so scientifically. Ed had put his trust in science since he was five and then these people just came in and turned everything on its head. The question was, would they have a way to restore Al's body? Ed didn't think so. Al had lost his body to a being that called itself God, and Ed had a feeling that even if magic could restore Al's body, Truth would find a way to screw things over for them.

Because that is what he does.

So no, he was going to find a way through alchemy, he wasn't going to gamble with his brother's life.

It took Harry and Hagrid ten minutes before they turned up, and when they did, it was quickly decided that Mustang would take a frankly green Hagrid for a pick-me-up at The Leaky Cauldron while Ed and Harry went to buy their uniforms.

They went inside a place called "Madam Malkin's".

They met a woman inside who smiled at them. "Hogwarts, dears?" she asked as they opened their mouths. "Got the lot here – another young man being fitted up just now, in fact."

They followed her to the back of the shop where a pale boy was standing on a footstool while a second woman pinned up his long black robes.

Ed said that Harry could go first, and soon he was being fitted up with his own robes too on the stool next to the pale boy.

"Hullo, you two going to Hogwarts, too?"

"Yes," they answered at the same time.

"First years?"

"Yes."

"Have you got your things, then? My father's buying my books and my mother's looking at wands."

Ed wanted to strangle him just because of the way he spoke.

"So, what about you? Where are your parents, then?" he asked them.

"They're dead," Harry said.

"Oh, sorry."

He didn't sound sorry at all.

"But they were our lot, right?"

"If you mean that they were witch and wizard, then yes," Harry was getting annoyed.

As was Ed.

"And you?" he asked Ed.

"My Mom's dead and my bastard of a father left when I was three. And no, they were both Muggles and so am I. I'm here because I'm an alchemist."

"But you're a Muggle!"

"I'm an exchange student. My uncle's the Alchemy professor."

He eyed Ed sceptically. "So where are you from then?"

"Amestris."

"Never heard of it."

"That's hardly my problem. I was invited here by the headmaster himself, so it shouldn't really be an issue."

"Dumbledore invited a Muggle to the castle?"

"Two, actually."

"So he invited you and your uncle to the school to teach us how to make gold?" He sounded faintly disbelieving, like he didn't care one iota about him after he was declared a Muggle.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Isn't that what alchemy's all about?"

"First of all, making gold is illegal. It would destabilise the whole economy, or is your brain really that small? Secondly, alchemy is the science of reconstructing matter into something else."

"So your _Muggle_ uncle is going to teach us _Muggle_ sciences? I am going to talk to my father about this. How Dumbledore can even think to let such filth into the school – "

Ed was about to slam his hands together to transmute a spear, when a hand was suddenly on his shoulder, and Ed looked up to find Mustang standing there.

"Edward, Hagrid was kind enough to buy you and Harry an ice cream each, maybe we could find you your robes later?"

"Yeah, sounds great, I was just talking to someone who had some interesting things to say about your subject, I didn't even get to say that you're a Colonel in the military and report directly to our country's leader or that you can control flames just with the snap of your fingers." Edward grinned evilly at the suddenly scared look on the pale boy's face.

Mustang seemed to catch on, giving him a small smirk. "How nice to hear that people are interested in my subject. I guess I could give a little example, then." He slid his right ignition glove on and snapped, making some rather nice rings of flame appear in the air about twenty centimetres in front of the brat's nose.

The kid looked completely terrified.

Harry looked like he wanted to laugh.

"Well, that's you done, dear," Madam Malkin said to Harry, seeming to be unsure of exactly how to react to Mustang's presence.

Harry paid for his robes and they sat down outside on a bench, eating their ice creams.

"We met a brat inside who seemed to think he's better than most because he's a wizard, is that common?" Ed asked Hagrid.

"Some wizardin' families think that they're better than Muggles, but only a few. Yeh might want ter keep an eye out fer the Slytherins, mind you."

"Slytherins? What the heck is that?"

"Oh, yeh don' know! Neither of yeh, I guess. Yeh see, Hogwarts is divided inter four houses, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Slytherin's got a bit of a bad reputation, there's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin. You-Know-Who was one."

"I don't know who," Ed stated.

"Blimey, Edward! I thought Professor Dumbledore would have told yeh?"

"You haven't heard about Voldemort?" Harry asked curiously. Hagrid jumped at the name.

"Oh, him. Yeah, he told us, but why wouldn't you just say his name, Hagrid?"

"Us wizards don' like ter say it, still scares us."

Ed had to say that it was one of the stupidest things he had heard. Surely giving someone a name as a substitute would only work as a reminder of what they feared and therefore increase it?

They finished their ice creams, Ed still thinking about how it could be so bad that people didn't want to say the guy's name even.

They finished their shopping and Ed and Mustang said goodbye to Harry and Hagrid, the two boys had already made plans to sit in the same compartment at the train, which made Ed slightly cheerful.

The problem was, now they had to take the Floo Powder back home.

Ed really hated magic.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much to the people who have already followed and favourited this story! **

**And I got a question about this story, and no, it will most certainly not have the same level of violence as my usual fics. I'm going to have mostly canon-typical violence for the Harry Potter universe, so there's no need to worry there.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or HP, just my respective box sets.**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Ed was getting a lot of funny looks at East HQ as he dragged his large trunk through the halls and up the stairs. When he finally reached the office, Ed saw that the fireplace had already been lit, most likely by Hawkeye. He had the little bag in his pocket, and after saying goodbye to his co-workers, he threw some of the green powder into the flames before he stepped into them.

Ed hadn't had a fun time saying goodbye to Al earlier as he left on the train headed for Resembool. It was wrong knowing that he wouldn't see his little brother for ten months.

Ed already felt lonely as he dragged his trunk into the flames.

Mustang had already taken with him the large, grey owl with the red eyes that Ed had decided to name Alphonse, just to feel that his brother was near him even when he would be so many miles away.

All in all, Ed felt pretty miserable.

He had already dressed himself in his new school uniform, feeling exceptionally foolish. He didn't want to change on the train and expose his automail, after all.

The taxi was already waiting for him outside The Leaky Cauldron, and after a quiet journey through London, Ed found himself at a large train station. He found a trolley and lifted his trunk onto it before he walked inside.

Then he stopped.

He reread his ticket.

Twice.

_What the hell is wrong with these people?!_

He walked over to the signs dividing platforms nine and ten. There was nothing there.

"Hey, Ed!"

Edward turned around. Harry was walking towards him, his snowy owl sitting in her cage atop his large trunk.

Ed waved, at least glad to see a friendly face amidst all this magic crap.

"You know where the platform is?" Harry asked.

"I was hoping you did."

"Not even the people who work here do."

"Shit. We've only got ten minutes."

A large red-headed family was marching past them with an owl, many trunks and confident faces.

" – Packed with Muggles, of course – " they heard the one who had to be the mother say.

Ed and Harry stared as, one by one, three of the boys simply disappeared into the barrier between platforms nine and ten.

Harry took a few steps towards the woman. Ed just listened with half an ear, relying on Harry to charm the woman into telling them.

Ed really hoped it didn't involve him doing magic.

Because then he'd be screwed.

"Oh, your friend, too?" the woman said, looking at Ed.

"You just walk straight at the barrier dear, better to run if you're nervous. You two can go before Ron." She pointed at a young red-headed boy.

"Thanks," Ed said.

Harry ran forwards, then he disappeared too.

Ed went after him, not even daring to run. This defied all logic. Absolutely all logic.

And so he walked slowly forwards, pushing the trolley tentatively in front of him.

And it somehow just went straight through it.

And so Ed continued pushing it all the way through, and then he went through himself, finding himself at a new platform where a large, scarlet train was steaming.

Ed blinked twice.

Then he cursed.

Then Harry came up to him, asking if they should find a compartment.

Ed nodded and they walked alongside the train until they found an empty compartment. Ed opened the door. Harry tried pushing his trunk on board, but it dropped on his toes.

"Want some help?" It was one of the red-headed twins from earlier.

Harry looked like he was about to accept, but Ed cut him off. "There's no need." He gripped the handle on the side of the trunk, lifting and pushing it into the compartment with ease.

"Wow! You're pretty strong for a small fellow!"

Ed reacted instinctively. He spun around, grabbing the twin who had said it by the front of his shirt, dragging him down so that he was at the same height as Ed. "**Say that again! I dare you!**" Edward said demonically, curling his fist so that the boy could see it at the corner of his eye.

The twin looked a bit unsure, and seemed to decide on backing off. He lifted his hands in the air. "Okay, sorry."

"Very sorry," the other one said.

"Incredibly sorry."

"_Dreadfully_ sorry."

"So sorry that I cannot even see how you could ever forgive me!"

"Oh please, good Sir! Do forgive my brother for this trespass against your honour!"

"I am so incredibly, dreadfully – OW!"

Ed had knocked him on the top of his head, losing his patience.

He let go of the boy, and his twin stretched out his hand, seeming to find Ed to have earned his respect. "George Weasley."

Edward shook his hand. "Edward Elric."

"And I'm Fred." The other twin said, pushing away his brother. "And you, good man, have an impressively strong grip. You work out a lot?"

"I spar daily." Ed had been told not to mention anything about Al, so he added, with a malicious grin, "with my uncle." Now he just had to find a way to get Mustang in on it too, and then he could beat his smug face daily.

"Your uncle?"

"Yeah, he's the new teacher. Alchemy. I'm here as an exchange student."

"You know any alchemy then, Ed?"

"I'm a damn prodigy."

"So you can make gold from lead?"

"Why does everyone think that that is what it's about? Alchemy is the science of deconstructing matter at an atomic level and then reconstructing it as something else."

"Oh, so you can't make gold from lead?"

"I can make gold from fucking _coal_, but that's not the point. It would destabilise the economy. It's illegal."

"Wow. Never thought about that."

"So what year will you be in?" George asked.

"First. I'm thirteen, but Dumbledore thought it would be best as I don't know any magic."

"So you're a Muggle?! Cool! The Slytherins are going to be furious!" He grinned widely.

"I guess we gotta go se Mum off, talk to yah later, Ed! Oh, and your friend! What's your name?"

"Harry Potter."

The twins' jaws dropped.

"No way," said Fred.

"It must be, I can see his scar!" George said.

"Wow!"

Harry seemed not to like the extra attention, and luckily, that was the moment the twins' mother shouted for them.

"See ya!"

And so Ed shoved his own trunk aboard the compartment and the two of them climbed in and sat down.

"So, Harry, who do you live with?"

"My aunt and uncle and their son, Dudley."

"That's a stupid name."

Harry grinned. "He's a stupid kid, too."

"So, do you get along with them?"

"No. They're horrible. How do you get along with your uncle?"

"Honestly? He's a bit of a womanising bastard. But I guess he's alright."

There was a knock on the compartment door, and the youngest of the red-headed boys opened it. "Would it be okay if I sat with you? Everywhere else is full."

"Sure," they said at the same time.

"Hi, Ron." The twins were back.

"We were just going to say hello to Ed and Harry."

"So hello."

"And welcome to the world of magic."

"See ya!"

And then they left.

Ron was sitting next to Ed, and he looked at Harry with large eyes.

"So it's true, then? You're really him?"

"Who?"

"Harry Potter."

"Oh, him. I mean, yes."

"Awesome. I thought it might have been one of Fred and George's jokes, you see." Ron looked slightly nervous. "So, do you really have it?"

"Have what?"

Ron bent forwards, whispering "_the scar?_"

Harry smiled, lifting his fringe. "Yeah."

"Wicked."

Ed had to say that it wasn't really that big. Why people made such a big deal out of the kid not dying, he had no idea.

"And you, you're an alchemist?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think you could show me?"

Ed decided that he might as well. If it gave Harry a breather, then it was fine with him.

"Sure." Ed clapped his hands and brought them to one of the walls, transmuting a wooden spear before handing it to Ron.

"Wicked."

Ron took the spear in his hands, studying it, running his fingers over it, even testing the sharpness of the blade, which earned him a small cut in his index finger. Ed sighed and clapped his hands again, putting them to his robes and thinned out the fabric just slightly as he made a mini handkerchief for Ron to hold to his bleeding finger.

"Sorry."

"Just don't do it again."

They discussed all from wizards vs. Muggles vs. alchemists to the difference between chimeras and Chimaeras. They ventured into a talk that resulted in Harry saying the word "Voldemort" which startled Ron badly and caused him to swing out his arm and smack it into Ed who instinctively grabbed the front of Ron's shirt and threw him to the ground.

The two boys looked at each other with a mixture of anger and fright and then all three of them began laughing loudly.

"I thought George was joking when he said that Fred had admitted defeat to a first-year, but I have to say that you've changed my mind," Ron said as Ed helped him to his feet.

"Yeah, and you'd better remember it. Now why the hell did you hit me because Harry said Voldemort?"

Ron gasped. "You're both insane! And Harry – I'd thought you, of all people."

"I'm not trying to be _brave_ or anything, saying the name. I just never knew you shouldn't," Harry said. "You see? I've got loads to learn. I bet I'm the worst in the class."

"I'd say you'd be well within the top half. You're smart enough," Ed said as if he was commenting on the weather.

"You think so?"

"Yeah. And you should trust my judgement, because I'm both your elder and a scientist."

And so Harry seemed cheered up slightly as they moved through the hills and fields of England.

At half past twelve, a woman came knocking on their compartment door. "Anything off the trolley, dears?"

Ron looked sadly at a package of homemade sandwiches, while Harry and Ed moved forwards, Harry taking with him a considerable lot, Ed buying at least twice as much as him again.

"Are you two hungry by any chance?" Ron asked.

"Starving," Harry said.

"Mhm," Ed said through his Cauldron Cake. He watched through the corner of his eyes as Ron began unpacking his sandwiches dejectedly, and he expertly threw a Pumpkin Pasty into his hands.

"No, it's yours, I can't…"

"Then we'll swap you!" Harry said.

"Bu – mf." Ed had rolled up a Liquorice Wand and thrown it straight at his open mouth.

As Ron began protesting, Ed and Harry began a game of throwing sweets at him until he finally relented, which was helped by the fact that Ed had simply decided to dump his sandwiches out the window.

Ed was slightly unnerved by the Chocolate Frog cards, especially the way that the pictures moved. He scowled at them, and they all looked shocked up at him after he had cursed loudly as he saw the first one blinking.

"Damned magic! Why can't you people just be normal for once?"

"If it helps, mate, you're pretty abnormal to everyone else here," Ron said, eating a frog.

"Shut up."

Ed fell asleep not long after.

"Oh, and here's the little Muggle, too! You'll find that some wizarding families are better than o – " someone said. They never got further, though, because Ed had flown out of his seat and had gracefully planted his knee in what turned out to be the blonde brat's face with a sound that could best be described as "BAFF."

He suddenly had one of the blonde's goons gripping his right arm, and Ed swung around and punched him in the stomach at the same time as he kicked the second goon in the chest. They both fell to the ground, although there could be heard a distinct ripping sound as the first boy tore Ed's right sleeve as he fell.

Ed went back into the compartment and slammed the door shut.

Ron and Harry were staring at his right arm.

Ed immediately clapped his hands and repaired the sleeve, but knew that the damage had already been done.

He cursed.

"Ed, what happened to your arm?" Ron said, both intrigued and horrified.

Ed sighed and plumped down into his seat. "I lost it."

"You did? But how?"

"It was an accident. I got hit by a car," Ed invented.

"So what is it that you're wearing?"

"Back in Amestris we have a highly advanced form of prosthetics, it's called automail." Ed decided that he might as well just tell them. If he was going to be watching Harry, it might be useful to be able to use the automail for what it was worth if he needed to be protected.

"Never heard of it. How does it work?"

"It's connected directly to the nerves. My brain still remembers how to give the signals to move my arm, and it simply picks them up. That's it, really."

"How much of your arm did you lose?"

"All of it."

Ron looked shocked, as did Harry.

"Don't tell anyone about it, though, I'd rather keep it a secret."

The two boys nodded solemnly. They were horrified.

"So what did that brat want?" Ed asked.

"Powerful friends," Harry said.

"And what did you say?"

"You never gave him a chance, mate," Ron said. "You just flew into his face and knocked him out."

"Oh. Well, he deserved it."

"Yeah, Malfoy's family is all rotten to the core. People say that they were right within You-Know-Who's inner circle."

Suddenly the door was opened and a girl with bushy, brown hair was walking inside. "What _has_ been going on?"

"Can we help you?" Ron said, annoyed.

"You'd better hurry up and put your robes on, I've just been up the front to ask the driver and he says we're nearly there. You haven't been fighting, have you? You'll be in trouble before we even get there!"

"Edward has been fighting not us," Ron said with a scowl. "Would you mind leaving while we change?"

"All right – I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors," she said. "And you've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?"

Then she left.

"Who the hell was that?" Ed asked.

"Her name's Hermione Granger, she's annoying," Ron explained.

The two other boys changed into their robes, and soon the train slowed and then came to a complete halt.

They left their baggage on the train as they had been instructed by the loudspeakers, and were soon finding themselves on the platform outside.

"Firs'-years! Firs'-years over here! All right there, Harry? Edward?"

They had walked up to Hagrid who kept shouting to round up the new students. When the giant seemed pleased, he lead them down a steep, narrow path, and Ed could only guess that they were surrounded by trees judging by how dark it seemed on either side of them.

"Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec," Hagrid informed them. "Jus' round this bend here."

Most of the kids went "Ooooooh!" at the sight that greeted them. A great lake opened up in front of them and perched atop a high mountain, one could see a large castle.

"No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid called, gesturing to a fleet of little boats by the shore. Ed joined Harry, Ron and a boy who he was introduced to as Neville.

Hagrid, understandably, took up a boat all to himself. "Everyone in?" he shouted. "Right then – FORWARD!"

They glided across the water and Ed calmed his mind by imagining a giant stone fist holding their boat and being the reason that the boat could glide forwards like this. They came closer and closer to the cliff where the castle was situated, and Hagrid shouted "Heads down" as the first few boats reached the cliff. They were carried through a curtain of ivy, through a tunnel until they finally reached a kind of underground harbour.

As they climbed out of the boats, Hagrid found a toad that apparently belonged to Neville, and when they were all gathered, they climbed a long set of stairs until they reached a huge, oak front door, and Hagrid knocked three times.

The doors opened at once and they were met by a stern-looking woman in emerald-green robes that was standing there, watching them.

"The firs'-years, Professor McGonagall."

"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."

She pulled the door wide, revealing a large entrance hall.

The other kids were highly impressed, but Ed guessed that it was their first time to visit a castle. Edward had been on a mission to one three months ago, and he had to say that the first would always be more mind-blowing than the second.

They followed Professor McGonagall into a small, empty chamber off the hall. Most of the kids were crowded together shoulder by shoulder, glancing about nervously. Ed therefore ended up standing in front of Harry and Ron as a kind of shield.

Professor McGonagall began informing them about something called "the Sorting" and the importance of their houses and all that, but Ed was only listening with half an ear because he had noticed the Malfoy brat glaring at him, holding his rather pink nose as his two bodyguards began cracking their knuckles at him.

When McGonagall left, the three advanced on him as the others were nervously murmuring about whatever they would have to do.

"Hi, there, Muggle-boy," Malfoy sneered.

Then his two brutes advanced on him, but Ed just sighed and clapped his hands and transmuted three pairs of stone arms that shot out of the ground and grabbed each of the three brats under the armpits, lifting them a foot into the air. They all kicked their feet uselessly.

"Listen, I don't want any trouble, why won't you just see that you've been beaten?" Ed said. He was going easy on them, deciding that they weren't worth much more than being subdued. Also, Ed didn't really want to cross Professor McGonagall.

He left them dangling in the air and returned to Harry and Ron. They were both grinning.

"That was bloody brilliant!" Ron said.

Ed smiled.

And then everyone around him gasped and Ed turned around, neither seeing nor hearing anything unusual, despite the several screams that people were giving off.

Ed reacted instantly and clapped his hands, transmuting a spear out of the stone ground, pointing it in the direction of the commotion. "What's going on?!" he asked, pushing Harry and Ron behind him.

"Can't you see them, mate?" Ron asked.

"See what?"

"The ghosts!"

Ed froze, looking to see if he was being serious. "You're not having a stroke, are you?"

"No. They're right there, there's about twenty of them!"

Then all of a sudden, someone was tapping his shoulder and Ed turned around sharply, pointing his spear at someone who turned out to be Professor McGonagall.

"What are you doing, young man?!" she said with a slightly shocked look upon her face.

"Oh, sorry!" Ed immediately clapped his hands and transmuted the spear back into the floor.

Professor McGonagall looked slightly surprised. "I guess that makes you Mister Elric?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"May I ask why you created the spear in the first place?"

"I believed we were under attack from an unknown enemy. People began screaming and pointing and I reacted instinctively."

"I see. Muggles cannot see ghosts. May I ask you, however, why those three boys are dangling in the air?"

"They were planning to attack me, Ma'am. I subdued them as there wasn't an adult here to otherwise stop them."

"And why were they attacking you?"

"Because they're racist, Professor."

Professor McGonagall's eyebrows rose slightly. "In what way?"

"They keep calling me Muggle as if they're better than me." Ed was being much more polite than usual, but he honestly felt that she was even more intimidating than Führer Bradley.

"I see. I will talk to the headmaster about this. Now, if you would kindly let them down?"

Ed did as he was told, and the three brats fell to the floor, landing on their arses.

Ed felt all eyes on him, but he didn't care.

"Move along now," Professor McGonagall said. "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start. Now form a line and follow me.

People began filing in behind Ed as he was the one closest to Professor McGonagall, and soon they were walking into the Great Hall. Ed flinched, not because of the people watching him, that was just like the cafeteria back at HQ. No, it was the fact that the room was lit by thousands of candles, and like so much else in the world of wizards, they were floating in mid-air over the four long tables.

Oh, and it seemed that the ceiling was see-through, which gave Ed a strong urge to just run over to the wall and slam his fists to it in order to transmute a flat, stone ceiling above them in order to achieve some normalcy.

Ed spotted three familiar faces at the fifth table in the room. There was Hagrid, Dumbledore and Mustang. Ed had never liked the stupid military uniform, but right now, he was damned glad to see it.

Professor McGonagall told him to stop walking. She soon fetched a stool and a worn-out, dirty wizard's hat that she placed upon it.

And the hall fell quiet.

And then the damned thing began to fucking _**sing**_.

And people applauded it for doing so.

Ed however, was wondering if it would die if you stabbed it or not.

Then Professor McGonagall began calling out names from a scroll of parchment.

Ed was just going to go along with it. He was hungry. That was really what he was feeling and little else.

"Elric, Edward!" Professor McGonagall shouted, and Ed sat down on the stool and she put the hat on his head and it slid down in front of his eyes.

"Hmm!" a small voice said in his ear. Ed jumped.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

Ed could hear laughter from around the hall, but he didn't care. "Who the heck are you, and what are you doing?!"

"I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat, and you, young man, is most definitely a Muggle. You know, I've never once been asked to sort one of your kind before now."

"Not interested, just get to the point!"

"Impatient, are we? Well, let's see what we can find in here, then… My, you are a difficult one, aren't you? Hmm…"

"I'm waiting…"

"Well, you a certainly not a Slytherin, you're way too selfless for that…"

"Nice to hear."

"And you're not really a Hufflepuff either, although you are a hard worker and the way you look after you brother is admirable… So the problem is, Gryffindor or Ravenclaw…"

"Just decide, would you?"

"You know, most students are afraid of me."

"Most students don't know how to turn you into a sock with the clap of their hands…"

"Then there's that… you certainly have an astonishing amount of talent. You are a very rare one indeed, but your courage is nearly overwhelming... what you did for your brother… not many would dare to do it, but you didn't even think, did you? But that too also shows how much intellect that can be found in here…"

"So you can see everything inside my head?" Ed was getting worried. If this thing could just flip through his memories, it could get Ed into a lot of trouble.

"Oh, there's no need to worry. I won't say anything to anyone. This hat keeps all sorts of dark secrets, although yours is certainly unusual, unique even…"

"There's no need to go through that stuff."

"Hmm … You transmuted for the first time at the age of five, that certainly points towards a Ravenclaw… But transmuting your brother's soul after loosing your leg, just at eleven years old… And you pointed a spear at your country's leader just to prove a point on your State Alchemist exam… Hmm … No, you're quite the challenge…"

Ed was getting impatient. The hat kept hmm-ing and hem-ing, but seemed to just be going in a circle. There was quite a lot of murmuring throughout the hall as the minutes passed.

"Aha! What's this? The colour red gets your blood pumping, does it? Then that's it! You, Mr. Muggle, must be a GRYFFINDOR!"

The last word was shouted out for the whole hall to hear. Ed removed the the hat and handed it to Professor McGonagall, before he walked over the cheering table and sat down with Ron's older brothers.

The oldest of them extended his hand and shook his. "Let me introduce myself, I'm Percy Weasley. That was quite an amazing feat, young Elric! Never thought I'd get to experience the sight of a Hatstall!"

"A what?"

"People that the Sorting hat uses over five minutes to sort. You must have been there for over eight!"

"Yeah, Ed. We thought it may have been refusing to sort you because you're a Muggle or something," one of the twins said.

"Nah, it just couldn't decide on whether I was a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw."

"Oh. What was the deciding point?"

"Red."

"A colour?"

"Yeah, it gets my blood pumping."

"Wow, then it must have been a close race. Well, welcome to Gryffindor!"

Ed watched as the annoying girl from the train and Neville also got sorted into Gryffindor. The Malfoy brat immediately became a Slytherin, and Ed knew he hated the house.

Then suddenly his right finger got frozen in a strange position, and Ed had to wait for ten seconds for it to unfreeze. Fortunately, no one had seen it happen. Ed was getting worried, though. Starting the school year with his automail getting messed up, wasn't exactly a cheerful prospect, and he couldn't exactly check it where he sat.

He cheered loudly as both Harry and Ron were sorted into Gryffindor too, and they joined him at the table. They all high-fived.

Dumbledore got to his feet and the whole hall fell silent.

"Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"

And then he sat back down as the students cheered.

"And I that he was bad when he recruited my uncle…" Ed said.

"Oh, what happened?" Percy asked, interestedly.

"He appeared out of nowhere and I pinned him to the ground with a transmuted blade."

"YOU WHAT?" The Weasleys said together.

"He startled me! I thought we were being attacked!"

"You know, Ed, I'm starting to see why you're a Gryffindor…" one of the twins said, eyes wide with awe.

Ed swore as the tables before him suddenly filled up with all sorts of foods.

Then he ate.

A lot.

The Weasley's just stared.

Ed didn't care. He kept eating as people talked, joked, spoke to a ghost called "Nearly-Headless Nick" and discussed their families.

Then Ed's right elbow refused to do as he he told it to, and froze.

Crap.

He tried to act normally, but both Ron and Harry gave it nervous looks.

Then it unfroze.

Ed didn't like this. Something was wrong with the automail, he just didn't know what. He would have to talk to the Colonel about this. He was just going to have to wait until the feast was done.

Ed kept trying to act normal as they ate their way through desserts and only listened with half an ear as Dumbledore gave the start-of-term notices, although he did look up at the mention of the word "Alchemy".

"And so I would like you all to give a warm welcome to our newest teacher, Colonel Roy Mustang, who has travelled here all the way from Amestris."

Mustang stood up and bowed slightly. People whispered loudly and Ed could hear words like "Colonel?" and "soldier?" echoing through the Great Hall.

"And, lastly, I would also like you to welcome his nephew, Edward Elric, who is joining us as an exchange student this year."

There was a lot of clapping from the Weasleys and Harry.

Ed kept silent as the old man led them through a very atonal rendition of the school song.

Then they were done and Ed kept still at the table as the others rose and went off towards the dormitories. He excused himself as wanting to have a word with his uncle, and when the other students had left, Ed began walking over towards the teachers' table and towards Mustang who was looking at him curiously.

"Edward? Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Can we talk in private?"

"Of course." Mustang led him through to a side room and the moment Ed got through the door, his left leg froze at the same time as his right arm, and he fell to the ground.

"Edward!"

"Something's wrong with the automail." Ed said as Mustang helped him sit up on the floor. "It wont move."

"I'm getting Dumbledore, maybe he can help."

Ed groaned, but realised that there might be a spell or something that could fix this. "If he asks, I lost them in a car accident, okay?"

Mustang nodded and left the room. He returned with Dumbledore a few seconds later.

"Hello, Edward, what's the matter?"

"Short story, I kind of lost my arm and leg two years ago and something is blocking the signals of my prosthetics."

"Oh. Can I have a look?"

"That's why we brought you here."

Ed rolled up his right sleeve. The arm was completely unresponsive.

Dumbledore kneeled down next to it and began tapping his arm with his wand. "Ah, yes, I know what the problem is. It seems that the magic of this place is in a way, confusing your arm not to react to your nerve impulses by blocking the internalised engines from working. A simple spell should fix it."

Dumbledore tapped his arm with the wand, making it glow slightly for a few seconds. "That should do it," the old man said, smiling.

Ed tried wriggling his fingers. It worked perfectly.

"Which leg is it?"

"The left."

Dumbledore did the same spell to his leg, and soon Ed was standing up, stretching his arm and then leaning his leg against the wall to check that it was working properly. "Seems alright, thanks."

"If there should any problem with it later, just come find me at my office."

"Yeah, I will."

"And just out of curiosity, what was the other house that the Sorting Hat was thinking about placing you in?"

"Ravenclaw."

"Ah, I guessed so. Well, good night, Edward, and I hope that you will enjoy your time here at Hogwarts."

"Good night, Professor."

And so the man left.

"Come, I'll take you to your dormitory," Mustang said.

"So you know the way?"

Mustang froze slightly. "No."

"Great, what do you suggest we do then?"

"Let's go to the teachers' lounge, Minerva is your head of house, so she should be able to help us."

"Minerva?"

"The joys of being a teacher, Fullmetal. You get to call them by their first names. It's Professor McGonagall to you."

"Oh."

And so they went through a couple of hallways and up and down a few staircases until they reached the teachers' lounge.

Mustang went straight inside and Ed followed him. They found Professor McGonagall.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind helping us find our way to Gryffindor Tower?"

"Yes, of course. And welcome to Gryffindor, Mister Elric, come with me."

They followed the lady through hallways, up staircases and through numerous curtains until they finally came upon a picture of a fat lady.

"Password?"

Ed jumped.

"Caput Draconis," Professor McGonagall told the picture and it swung forwards, and Ed and Mustang followed her through the portrait hole. "Your room is at the top of that staircase. Good night, Mister Elric."

"Good night, Professor."

Ed smirked at Mustang. "See ya tomorrow, Roy."

"Good night, Edward." The Colonel managed to make a uncle-y smile at him.

And so Ed climbed the spiralling staircase and found himself sharing a dorm with Harry, Ron, Neville and two boys that he thought were named Seamus and Dean.

Ed drew the curtains around his four-poster bed and changed into his pyjamas, before he lay down under the covers.

"Wizards are crazy" was the last thought he had before he fell asleep.

* * *

**So, I'm writing this story on my phone, which means that it keeps making suggestions as to what words to write based on the first few letters that I type. This has resulted in lovely things like "The Leaky Cauliflower" and "****Now why the hell did you hit me because Harry said Volleyball?"**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter and have a nice day!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow! I can hardly believe that this has got twenty followers already! Thank you so much!**

**And thank you to the readers, the reviewers and the favouriters too!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own either FMA or HP**

* * *

**Chapter**** Four**

Edward was woken up by somebody shaking his shoulder violently.

"Hmm?"

"It's breakfast, mate, you need to wake up." It was Ron.

"I don't wanna."

"You have lessons, you have to."

"Dammit."

Ed sat up in his bed groggily. He got out of his bed, forgetting about the fact that he had been so tired yesterday that he hadn't thought about covering his automail leg too.

That was until his left foot hit the floor with a CLUNK.

Ed was immediately awake, relieved that the room's only occupants were himself, Harry and Ron.

"Your leg too?" Ron said, stricken. "Bloody hell, mate."

"Yeah. Thanks for waking me up, though."

Ron was still staring at him.

Ed just sighed, deciding that he might as well just get it over with, and threw his pyjama shirt off, picking up his uniform instead.

Ron and Harry gasped. Ed kind of understood them. He had scars running all along the edges of the automail after all.

"Yeah, so that's basically it," Ed said, sighing as he threw his shirt over his head.

"Bloody hell. How much did that hurt?" Ron said.

"A lot. Shouldn't you change too, or are you planning on wearing that in the Great Hall?" Ed pointed to the fact that Ron was still in his pyjamas.

That sort of alerted Ron to the way that he was still staring at Ed's arm and leg.

Ed quickly changed his pyjamas trousers into his uniform ones, but he saw out of the corner of his eye that Ron was staring at his leg.

"By the way, Ed, what happened to you yesterday?" Harry asked.

"The magic in this place was messing with the signals in my automail. Dumbledore fixed it, so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Oh, that's good."

Soon, the three boys were ready to leave, and they got downstairs and Ed's internalised compass managed to find them at least the long way round to the Great Hall, although it did involve the slight detour to the teachers' lounge. They did, however, make it within seven minutes, so that wasn't too bad for their first time. Ed noticed that they were one of the few groups of first years that had actually managed to find their way to breakfast.

Hermione was there and she quickly sat herself down in front of Ed. Ron scoffed and Harry seemed slightly annoyed.

"I never got to introduce myself yesterday. I'm Hermione Granger."

"Ed." Ed wasn't really caring, he was shovelling eggs and bacon into his mouth.

"I noticed how you were a Hatstall. I'm guessing that the other house was Ravenclaw, seeing as how I don't see how the Slytherins would take in a Muggle, and you don't really seem like a Hufflepuff. Also, I've read the Alchemy textbook, and it seems like a rather advanced science and I couldn't even find anything on how you managed to clap to transmute so you have to be really advanced."

"What's your point?" The girl had been talking a mile a minute.

"I was wondering how you do it."

"So you wanna get ahead in class?"

The girl blushed.

"Thought so. I only know one other person who can do it, and I'm gonna give you the same answer that she gave me. "Maybe it's something you learn when you see the Truth.""

"The truth? What do you mean?"

"Figure it out for yourself."

"Can't you give me anything?"

"Fine. "All is one and one is all." Figure it out. That's one of the most basic things you can learn in alchemy."

"But – "

"No buts. I gave you a pointer, that should be enough. Now will you let me eat?"

Hermione seemed frustrated and contemplative at the same time. She ate in complete silence then went quickly out the doors, grabbing a timetable from Professor McGonagall on her way out.

Fred and George came over and sat down with them, giving them a timetable each.

Ed looked his over twice, memorising it.

Today he'd be having Alchemy, History of Magic, Transfiguration and Herbology.

Which meant that he'd be having a double period of Mustang showing off to gain the students' attention.

He sat down in the classroom next to Harry and Ron who had both insisted on sitting on the first row. That also meant that Hermione had decided to sit down on the desk to his right, probably so that she could ask immediately if she wondered about something.

After five minutes, the rest of the class had sidled into the room and people were buzzing excitedly, most of them about the alchemy that Ed had used when they arrived here yesterday.

Then the door was opened and the Colonel walked inside.

This was stupid. If there was one lesson he didn't need, it was alchemy. He bet he was even better than Mustang anyway.

"Good morning, class," he said as he strode forwards towards his desk. Ed had to say that he looked stupid wearing those black robes that billowed behind him. "I'm Professor Mustang. I'm a State Alchemist from the Amestrian military, where I'm also known as the "Flame Alchemist". I would just like you all to know right now that I won't accept any foolishness as this is a serious science that can easily turn fatal if you don't focus. That includes you, Mister Malfoy."

Ed turned around to see that they were indeed joined by the Slytherins for this class, but they were all looking grumpy and most of them were ignoring the Colonel.

This class just turned infinitely more interesting.

Mustang snapped his fingers, sending a flame that snaked its way around the desks and stopped just two inches shy of Malfoy's nose.

Several Slytherins screamed and then stared at Mustang.

"Like I said, lack of focus can easily turn fatal."

One of the Slytherins raised their hand into the air, looking outraged.

"Yes, Miss…?"

"Parkinson. That was really irresponsible of you! You could have burned him!"

Mustang sighed. "Let me assure you, Miss Parkinson, that if I didn't have complete control of the flames, I would not have done what I just did, as it would reflect badly upon my country's military. I am merely proving my point. That wasn't dangerous as I have the necessary focus and correctly assessed both distance, density of air and its components. It was perfectly safe."

Another kid held up their hand, although this was one of the boys from Ed's dorm.

"Yes, Mister…?"

"Seamus Finnegan, Sir. Will you teach us to do that?"

"Flame alchemy requires a lot more years to master than this school offers. I would not let someone go off without having learnt it properly, as it is both the most powerful and therefore the most dangerous form of alchemy."

"Have you taught your nephew?" another kid asked.

"No. I made a promise to someone that I would not pass on the secrets."

"So what are you going to teach us?" a Slytherin asked, bored.

"I will teach you the fundamentals of alchemy this year."

"But why should we learn to do something that we will be able to just flick our wands to do?" Malfoy asked.

"And what, Mister Malfoy, do you do when said piece of wood breaks?"

"I buy a new one."

"And if somebody is pointing a wand at you, threatening your life?"

"I-uh…"

"That is exactly my point. You would all be dead, unable to protect yourselves. With knowledge of alchemy, as long as you know the basic components of your surroundings, you can practically make anything you want. Also, I highly doubt that disarming spells would target pieces of chalk."

"Chalk, Sir?" Ron asked.

"Yes, chalk." He walked over to the blackboard and wrote in large letters. "Can anyone tell me what this says?"

Hermione raised her hand and spoke. "Transmutation circle, Sir."

"Thank you, Miss…?"

"Granger, Professor."

"Do any of you know what a transmutation circle does?"

Harry raised his hand shyly at the same moment as Hermione's shot into the air.

"Yes, Mister Potter?"

"Doesn't it harness the energy from tectonic movements and allow you to transmute?"

"Yes, take five points for Gryffindor."

Harry smiled and Ed felt some pride at the fact that he had remembered what Ed had told him in Diagon Alley.

The lesson went on and Ed had to admit that Mustang was giving a pretty good overview of the basics of alchemy.

"Now, as homework for Monday, I would like you all to work twenty minutes each day on memorising the table of elements which can be found on page three-hundred-and-six."

"You can't give us homework every day for a whole week!" Malfoy said.

"Yes, I can, and that is the third time that you have spoken without permission, Mister Malfoy, so I'm giving you detention."

"What? You can't do that without a warning!"

"I can and I will. Stay behind, we need to discuss the manner of your detention. The rest of you are dismissed."

"_Your uncle is pretty awesome,_" Ron whispered.

"Oh, Edward, a word?" Mustang called.

"We'll wait outside," Harry told him.

Ed nodded.

Ed was confused, but he stepped up to the desk together with a scowling Malfoy.

"Edward, I would like you to give me a hand with Mister Malfoy's detention."

Ed grinned evilly. "Sure."

"I figured that you would learn something by being taught one of the first lessons that my nephew learnt from his teacher. What was it she said? "To train the mind one must first train the body"?"

Ed nodded, grin widening.

"As your punishment, Mister Malfoy, you will train two hours each day for a week, as instructed by my nephew."

Ed was trying not to laugh evilly.

Malfoy was shocked. "But we're supposed to do lines or something!"

"Remember, Mister Malfoy, I am a military man, after all. When you break the rules in my classroom, I will deal out punishments as I see fit. Now if you protest this any further, I will make it two weeks instead. That is all, I will let you decide upon what time of the day that you would like to conduct the training lessons yourself, Edward."

Ed smirked and gave him a two-fingered salute.

As they left the room, Ed grabbed Malfoy by his bag, holding him back. "Seven o'clock at the Entrance Hall. Dress in layers and bring proper shoes and lots of water."

"I swear I will get you Muggles back for this!"

"I'd like to see you try."

He released his grip on Malfoy's bag and the brat strode off.

"What was that all about?" Ron asked.

"I'll be supervising Malfoy's detention."

"What will he be doing?"

"Physical training, two hours a day for a week."

Ron laughed loudly, as did Harry. "Can I come watch?"

"Don't see why not."

"Bloody brilliant."

"So now there's History of Magic, right?"

"Yeah. Fred says they're horrible. You know, Binns is the only teacher here who's a ghost."

"A ghost? But if I can't see or hear him, then what's the point of me even attending?!"

"Oh, right! I guess you should see Professor McGonagall or Dumbledore about that."

"Yeah, I'll see you later, then."

Ed walked off in the direction of the teachers' lounge, knocking twice on the door. He hoped that he would meet Professor McGonagall immediately, but wasn't so lucky. Instead he was met by a stern-faced man with greasy, black hair.

"Yes?"

"I need to talk to either Professor McGonagall or Dumbledore."

"Why?"

"I'm the exchange student. Edward Elric. I'm having History of Magic at the moment, but I was told that the teacher in question is a ghost."

"Ah, you're the Muggle, so you can't see or hear Professor Binns. I'll take you to see Dumbledore." He threw his cloak about him, looking a bit like a bat, and they began walking.

"Thank you," Ed said.

"Thank you, _Sir_," he sneered.

Ed just looked at him, questioningly. "I thought Dumbledore didn't – oh."

_He doesn't know about your military title, Ed! Pull yourself together!_

"What, Elric?" He looked at him suspiciously.

"Nothing! Nothing, Sir!"

The man stared at him as if he was trying to read his mind, and Ed looked away.

The man sneered.

They walked for about a minute, until the man spoke again. "I was told by Professor McGonagall that you were having a bit of trouble with a few of the students in my house."

"Your house, Sir?"

"Yes, I'm head of house for Slytherin. I am also the Potions Professor, so I expect that I will be seeing you in my class in a few days."

"Ah, so you're Professor Snape, then, Sir?"

"Yes."

They didn't say anything else on their way to Dumbledore's office, although the man kept eyeing Ed with something that looked like mistrust.

They came to a rather cool-looking stone gargoyle and Professor Snape stopped in front of it. "Ice Mice."

The gargoyle hopped aside and the wall split in two behind it.

"Step onto the staircase and it will take you to the Headmaster's office."

Ed did as he was told and the stone walls closed behind him as the staircase began twirling its way upwards. Ed had to say that it wasn't to different from the times when he shot up into the air as he transmuted pillars from the ground beneath him, but he imagined that many would feel rather nauseous from it.

Then he came to a griffon-shaped knocker, and Ed, being fed up with this magic crap, rebelled slightly, and instead knocked just to the right of it.

"Come in."

Ed opened the door and went inside. He didn't even want to describe the room, it was just _too magic_ in a way. Dumbledore looked up at him with a smile. "Ah, Edward. Have a seat." He gestured towards the chair in front of his desk. Ed sat down. "Is something wrong?" the old man asked.

"Professor Binns is a ghost. A bit pointless for me, wouldn't you say?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Oh, sorry, Edward, I didn't think about that. I guess I'll remove it from your timetable."

"So I'll have those lessons off?"

"Yes. Oh, and Edward, how would you say that the mission is going?"

"Fine. I haven't really seen anything suspicious. I'm making friends with Harry, though. He and Ron know about the automail."

"Ah, that may be just as well. Hiding it from them may have proven too great a task anyway. Speaking of your automail, there seems to be something that you're hiding from me."

"How do you know?!"

Dumbledore chuckled again. "Edward, I have been working with adolescents for more decades than I care to admit. I have learnt to recognise it when someone is lying to me, or is, more accurately, trying to hide the truth."

Ed didn't want to tell the man about his secret. It had nothing to do with this mission after all. "That is something I'd rather keep to myself. I can offer you one thing, however. It is not something that will endanger either me or your students."

Dumbledore studied his face and began laughing. "You know, you are the first student here to answer me like that. Most students fear me for some reason, the word "Headmaster" seems to intimidate them."

"Well, I'd say that "equivalent to that of a Major and reports directly back to the leader of Amestris" should be a better reason for being intimidated."

Dumbledore chuckled again. "Well, you certainly are a Gryffindor through and through." Then the old man's face grew serious. "Although I have heard that there are students who are opposing your presence at this school. I do hope that you won't run into too much trouble."

"I can look after myself."

"I don't doubt it, but should anyone decide to attack you, inform one of the teachers. I do not take lightly to wizards attacking people just because they're Muggles. It's not much different from what the Death Eaters did back in their day."

"I'll remember that."

"Just take care, Edward, and good luck with your mission."

"Thanks. See you."

Ed stood up and left.

He hadn't really thought about it, but if anyone other than the first years started attacking him, he could actually be in danger.

_Nah, I'll beat their ass anyway._

Which Ed was certainly planning to do later on.

And so the day passed until the highlight of the day came: Seven o'clock.

Malfoy turned up ten minutes late on purpose.

"I guess that means that we'll work out ten minutes extra," Ed said.

The kid obviously hadn't listened to him, and was wearing jeans and a black sweater.

But that wasn't really Ed's problem, was it?

"So, what are we going to do?"

"We are going to start out the way I did." Ed clapped his hands and brought them to the wooden doors, transmuting a club.

"Are we going fight?"

"Nah, that comes later. Right now, you're going to **run**."

"What?"

"I'll give you a twenty-second head start. After that, if you don't dodge, you get hit. It's pretty easy."

"You have got to be joking."

"Sixteen … Fifteen … Fourteen …"

Malfoy looked slightly unsure.

Ed grinned evilly. "Eleven … Ten … Nine ..."

Malfoy caught on and swiftly began running out the doors.

Ed kept counting down, but could hear Ron laughing his head off behind one of the statues.

"**ZERO!"**

Then Ed raised the club over his head and began running.

All in all, Ed had a fun time chasing a screaming Malfoy through the grounds for two hours straight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow! I just have to say that I'm stunned by the reaction that this is getting! thank you guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or HP.**

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**Chapter** **Five**

Ed's first week at Hogwarts was an odd one, indeed. The lessons were crazy and he didn't really have much to offer when it came to Charms. He had done very well with Herbology, and had managed to memorise most of the different properties of the plants that were in the textbooks, earning, together with Hermione, a total of fifty house points in one lesson.

Defence Against the Dark Arts left Edward quite confused and little else. Quirrel would stutter his way through telling them stories that he doubted were true before he would ask them to read the textbooks. What Ed found the most ridiculous however, was the fact that the Professor had apparently decorated the room with garlic in order to ward off vampires.

Transfiguration gave him the urge to scream loudly in frustration. It had quickly turned out to be a lesson in sinning against nature and little else. It had no respect for the Law of Equivalent Exchange, which Professor McGonagall had quickly proved as the first demonstration she had given them had been to change her desk into a pig and back again. She had turned an inanimate **_wooden_** object into a living, breathing **_pig_**.

By flicking a fucking stick.

Ed knew that he would never, ever forgive the Führer for this mission.

The one redeeming feature was his daily, teacher-instructed workout schedule. For some reason, Malfoy never joined him in his non-mandatory stretching out sessions after the running, and so the brat was getting stiffer and stiffer each day, which gave Ed plenty of enjoyment. Ed had however, decided to be nice, seeing as how the running hindered Malfoy in doing his Alchemy homework. He had therefore begun shouting out each element in turn and their properties every time he took a swing at him with his club. It worked pretty well, as Ed got in at least three hundred swings each night.

By Friday morning, Ed was the hero of his dormitory, as many Gryffindors had taken up the Malfoyan equivalent of birdwatching, and would stand at different windows in Gryffindor tower with a pair of binoculars. Fred and George were especially fond of this, and suggested that they'd form a society for like-minded individuals.

Ed had, however, been heeding Dumbledore's warning and had kept an eye out for any Slytherins that seemed to not exactly be fond of his heritage. So far, though, none of them had tried anything.

That was of course too good to last.

On their way to their first Potions lesson, Ed felt rather than heard the sound of a spell coming his way through the hallway behind him. Which meant that he had just enough time to feel the fear of an incoming attack, but without the ability to move out of its way. The next second, Ed fell forwards as his legs locked together. He managed to land into a sort of push-up-position, breaking his fall considerably.

"Ed!" Harry and Ron shouted together.

"Not doing so well against magic, are you, Muggle-Boy?!"

Ed spun around and sat up, glaring down the hallway and over at a gang of laughing Slytherins.

"What's going on here?" he heard a familiar voice say and the Slytherins spun around to come face-to-face with Mustang.

Ed was slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be able to punish these people by himself.

"Edward, are you alright?" Mustang asked.

"They used the leg-locker curse on him, Sir" Ron said.

_Dammit, Ron! Where's your pride?!_

Mustang looked angry. He never did like it when people attacked his subordinates.

"I think that means detention."

"What deserves a detention, Mustang?" Snape had arrived.

"Ah, Severus, just the man I wanted to see. Your students here decided to attack my nephew."

"I see. Which one of you was it?"

One of the students shyly raised his hand.

"Flint, you would do well to remember that the Headmaster sees any cursing of either Professor Mustang or his nephew as nothing short of a Muggle-hate crime. You will serve whatever detention Professor Mustang deems necessary, as will the rest of you."

The students looked shocked. "Why would you protect such filth?!" one of the other boys asked.

Snape gave the pupil in question a stern look. "Because what the Headmaster orders are the rules in this school," he sneered. He looked back at the Colonel. "Mustang, I suggest that whatever detention you were planning to give Warrington here, that you double it. That way it might actually stick."

"With pleasure. Edward, what do you say to adding a few more members?"

Ed grinned, knowing that he was talking about the workout schedule.

"Great! Now would someone please free my legs?!"

Snape sighed and flicked his wand, breaking the curse. Ed stood up. "Thank you, Sir!"

Snape just strode past him, still sneering.

_Not an easy man to get to like you, then…_

"Bloody brilliant! You're gonna make half of Slytherin House run around at this rate," Ron said, grinning.

They walked down to the dungeons, noticing quickly how much colder it was the further down you got.

Ed had to say that the décor in the Potions classroom basically made Snape seem like some kind of mad scientist. Once the lesson started, Snape started by taking the register where he paused at Harry's name.

"Ah, yes, Harry Potter. Our new – _celebrity_."

_What's this guy's problem?_

Then he just continued going through the names until he reached the end of his list. He looked up at the class and began talking in barely more than a whisper. "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses … I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death – if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

Ed couldn't decide if he liked Snape or not. Ed liked his directness, but he didn't seem like he actually fitted teaching students. There was something about the way he sneered, like he liked his subject but he didn't like his students breathing.

"Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

_Well, that's the Draught of Living Death, but he can't really expect everyone to remember that…_

"I don't know, sir," Harry told the teacher.

"Tut, tut – fame clearly isn't everything."

"And he never said it was either," Ed said. "You can't blame him for not being able to remember everything the book says, most people don't have an eidetic memory, which I would have thought you'd be the first one to know as a teacher."

There was a sharp intake of breath from the rest of the classroom. Snape was about to open his mouth, but Ed thought that if he was already in for a detention, he might as well do it properly. "But if you doubt my statement, I suggest you ask Malfoy over there who's been sniggering like a little schoolgirl ever since you first had a go at Harry."

That shut the stupid little brat up pretty quick.

Snape stood in front of Ed's desk, leaning his hands on the edge and was glaring down at him with a look that promised him a long, fiery death, but that didn't worry Ed too much. He could take him out in a heartbeat if he wanted. "Detention, Elric." When the man realised that he didn't have the same fearful hold that he had on most students, he spun around and walked back to the blackboard. "And twenty points from Gryffindor."

_Fine … I've already earned us seventy-five this week._

The lesson progressed and they were split up into pairs, leaving Ed working on his own. Ed was okay with that, except for the odd looks he got from Ron when he pulled out his matches in order to light the fire under his cauldron.

He found the instructions pretty easy, which left Snape sneering as he walked past only to find that Ed's potion wasn't only perfect, but he was also about fifteen minutes ahead of anyone else, minus Hermione, there was only about eight in her case. The reason for this was of course that he didn't need to use his knife even once, seeing as how he could cut each and every ingredient into perfect shapes with the clap of his hands.

Ed's potion was finished with about twenty-five minutes to spare, which Snape at first didn't seem to believe. When he couldn't find anything wrong with the potion, however, Ed couldn't help but give him a smug smile, which was probably why he was assigned to spend twelve hours of his weekend cleaning the many suits of armour in the castle with a toothbrush.

"How are you not angry at that?" Roy asked him incredulously as they walked up the corridors and found their way to Transfiguration lessons.

"Because I've already finished my homework, and besides, I'd say that it was worth it. It's funny, Snape tries to scare me, but he just can't. The only teacher that will ever scare me is Izumi Curtis."

"Who's that?" Harry asked.

"She's my alchemy teacher back in Amestris. Snape won't ever come close to her, even if he did begin throwing knives."

"She threw knives at you?" Harry and Ron said incredulously.

Ed just shrugged. "Yeah."

Harry and Ron exchanged worried glances.

* * *

Ed had also been invited to tea with Hagrid and so he, Ron and Harry made their way across the grounds and over to a hut just before three. They knocked twice and were met by large, booming barks. The next second, Ed had an enormous black boarhound pinning him to the floor and licking his face.

"No, Fang!" The dog was pulled off him and Ed used his sleeve to wipe drool off his face. "Sorry fer tha', he usually behaves better. Mus' like yeh a lot."

"Most dogs seem to do that to me. It's nothing new," Ed said with a sigh as he stood up.

"Well, come in, come in! Make yerselves at home!"

Ed walked into the strange hut, staring at the odd objects strewn about, not really hearing the ongoing conversation. Judging by the crossbow by the front door, Hagrid was the first wizard he'd met that actually had some sense in his head.

After a minute, Hagrid poured them tea in some rather large cups. Ed had to say that despite all their faults, at least these wizards knew how to make tea. It reminded him of home, although it was much better than the one at HQ.

"So, how's yer week been goin'? I've seen yeh runnin' after tha' Malfoy kid in the evenin's, how come?"

"My uncle gave him detention and he figured that I should teach him the same way that my teacher taught me. Two hours everyday and I've got special permission to be out so late. Dumbledore seems to like the idea of physical education. I'll be adding four more brats to the group from today. Two of them will be joining my daily exercise regime for the next four weeks while the remaining two will _sadly_ only be joining for a fortnight."

"So yer uncle isn't the one tha' taught yeh?"

"Nah. He's so busy with work usually and he's only really specialised in flame alchemy which he won't teach anyone. So I found my own teacher back when I was eight."

"Well, judgin' by yer skills, she mus' have been a good teacher."

"A great one (and scary)" Ed shivered.

"Speaking of teachers, would you know why Snape seems to hate me?" Harry asked.

"Rubbish. He might not like yeh, but he hardly ever likes his students anyway. I wouldn' worry too much about it. Now, Ron, how's yer brother Charlie? I liked him a lot – great with animals."

_So Hagrid knows something about Snape, huh?_

Ed didn't fail to notice Harry's raised eyebrows as he took the newspaper cutting lying on the table under the tea cosy. Ed read it quickly enough for Harry not to notice, but he did find it strange. Someone had broken into Gringotts the day they had been there? Not exactly the safest place in the world then after all.

"Hagrid!" Harry exclaimed. "That Gringotts break-in happened on my birthday! It might've been happening while we were there!"

_Okay, Hagrid definitely knows something._

That man needed some serious work on his poker face.

But Ed wasn't going to say anything, it was Ed's responsibility to report back to Mustang and Dumbledore, not to blow his cover over some shifty behaviour.

He liked Hagrid, but he guessed he was going to have to keep a closer eye on him for now.

* * *

Ed stood before an extremely murderous gang of Slytherins at seven o'clock that evening, his hands on his hips. Ed was dressed in his usual clothes. They were good for military missions and would work for workouts. Plus the school uniform was stupid.

The Slytherins except Malfoy didn't seem to think so, though.

Ed guessed they would just have to learn it the hard way, then.

"I thought I told you four to dress for a workout?"

"As if you can make us sweat! We're Quidditch players!"

"You sit on a broom, that hardly counts. But it does help me decide what area to work on."

"Do you seriously think that you can make us run?"

"What's wrong, Malfoy? Haven't you told them about my methods? Afraid you're gonna get laughed at for being beaten by the Muggle boy?"

Malfoy actually reddened as he glared at him.

"But if you four think you can take me on in a fight, then go ahead. No magic, though, otherwise I won't take it easy on you."

"You asked for it, Muggle-Boy!" Flint said, cracking his knuckles.

"Oh, and Uncle Roy? Please don't step in, I swear I will go easy on them."

Mustang didn't even look up from his book as he sat there on the stone steps. He had felt he should be there just in case these jerks decided to pull out their wands. "I wouldn't dream of it."

And so the four Slytherins laughed as they advanced on him, or at least until Ed ran at them, jumped into the air and slammed his right foot in two of their faces, sending them to the ground. The remaining two were quickly subdued with a couple of well-aimed punches to their stomachs.

And so the four of them were looking up at him in shock.

"Here's the main rule for these sessions: you don't dodge, you get hit. You get hit, you get hurt. So what you need to do is run. I'll give you a ten-seconds head start, you'll recognise that by now, won't you, Malfoy?"

Ed clapped his hands and transmuted his usual club from the door. "Ten," Ed said, evil grin spreading.

Malfoy ran. The other four Slytherins looked curiously at him, although one of them was getting to his feet with a hint of trepidation.

"Go on … six."

The other boys saw the look in Ed's eyes and got to their feet, running ahead of him.

"Good boys … ZERO! HAHAHA!"

"Have fun," Mustang said, turning a page calmly.


	6. Chapter 6

**WOW, PEOPLE! 51 follows! Thank you so, so much!**

**You guys rock!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own neither FMA nor HP**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

What Ed could say about Snape's detention was that the man was definitely a sadist. In order to make sure that Ed didn't just clean the suits of armour with the clap of his hands, he had set Argus Filch and his cat to watch him. Filch was even less pleasant than Snape, though. At least Snape was fun to irritate, but you couldn't mess with Filch in the same way. You just sort of felt bad, because his demeanour didn't really change other than that he began muttering about reinstating some rather illegal forms of punishment. One thing is when you get to get back at the bully, but with Filch you just became the original bully and the man was just the unpleasant mutterer with the weird cat.

And speaking of the cat, Ed doubted that even Al could make it like him. Mrs. Norris was just ugly and about as pleasant as Filch, and it too, seemed to have it in for Ed. He understood why Hagrid had said that he would like to introduce her to Fang. And so Ed had kept his spirits up with the mental images of Fang greeting her the same way as he had greeted Ed.

Monday morning brought him a surprise as Alphonse came swooping into the Great Hall with a thick letter for him. Ed had given his brother a thorough report on the last school week and was happy to see that he had received a thorough reply too.

Ed opened it and began reading quickly, already missing his brother and the normalcy of Amestris. He took off his translation amulet in order to read in peace and just take a small break from the magic.

_Dear Brother,_

_Magic seems so cool! Although it does sound a bit strange. Are you sure that the pig wasn't some kind of advanced illusion?_

_Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you're making friends and that your mission is going as it should. Both Harry and Ron sound really nice, do you think I could meet them sometime when your mission is done? I would love to see some magic._

_Oh, and it was so nice to hear that you named the owl after me! Are we going to keep him after you come home? I mean, you did buy him after all, it's not a stray. It would be so nice to have a pet on our travels and you can't say that it can get lost or takes up too much space because he can just fly, can't he? And he's so fond of being petted, you know. Even Granny came over and patted his head._

Ed couldn't help but laugh at Al's eagerness when it comes to pets. It made him realise just how much he missed his little brother, though, so it was a good kind of sadness he felt upon reading it.

_The school library sounds fascinating, and I would love to get a copy of Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them, to think that magic creatures actually exists! Could I get yours when you're done with it? I know you say that it's … well … bull poo … but I think it sounds fascinating all the same!_

_Your teachers seem interesting, although you really shouldn't talk to Snape that way, you could have got into a lot more trouble than you did! You should remember that you're just a student, even though I can see how you deserve some respect, but other than Dumbledore, nobody knows that._

_I'm glad to hear that you're doing well with your lessons, though. It's been a long time since we've been to school, so it's good to hear that you're fitting in._

_And also, although I am glad that you're keeping up your training schedule, please be careful! Remember that it's a punishment for them and that they're bound to get angry with you. I don't like the way you've described the Slytherins so far, the older ones could be quite dangerous. And I know that you can take them out easily, but you're not really allowed to, are you? I mean, only if they attack you first, but then they could actually hurt you, so … Just take care, basically._

_Winry and Granny were so happy to see me again. I haven't told them where you are, or about magic, just like you told me. They are wondering about why I haven't given them a lot of details, and why you're sending your letters by owl, but so far "it's classified" seems to be enough for them, as long as you don't get hurt._

_It's nice to be back here, although I would rather be with you. We met a few people that we went to school with, and they told me to say hi to you, so hi from Jenny, Marcus and Pete, if you remember them. It's odd to see how much they've grown up, it's only been a few years after all. They were really impressed with having gone to school with someone who is practically a celebrity. I haven't really thought about it that way before, but I guess that it's right with you being the youngest State Alchemist in history._

_I would love to hear more about school, so please keep me updated as often as possible._

_I miss you, Brother, and I hope that you still have a good time at Hogwarts._

_Al_

Ed couldn't help but smile fondly at the letter. He missed his little brother a lot and couldn't wait to see him again.

Ed turned around to put on his amulet again, but it wasn't there. He looked about him frantically, but it was gone.

_Shit_.

Ed looked up to the teacher's table, but it was vacated. There were only three minutes left until the lessons started, so they would of course have gone to their respective classrooms. Ed supposed he could go to find Dumbledore, but the gargoyle demanded a password, didn't it? A password in a language that Ed didn't know. He turned towards Ron and Harry, they were both saying his name, but that was all he actually understood.

Ed just stared frantically at them before he clapped his hands together and brought them to the stone floor, making a copy of the amulet, although with different materials. The visual aid seemed to help as Ed began to speak fluently in Amestrian. Or, Harry seemed to understand and tried explaining to Ron, who cursed. Ed may not understand the words, but it was pretty easy to understand that someone was uttering profanities despite the language barrier.

Ed needed to find the Colonel, seeing as how he actually spoke Amestrian and still had his amulet. And so he said "Roy Mustang" and ran for the Alchemy classroom.

Ed was of course pissed off by this. This would make him seem like a complete idiot. He couldn't understand how it just disappeared like that. He was sure that nobody had been sitting next to him, but whoever had stolen it, Ed was gonna make sure to kick their ass.

He opened the door, but of course the useless bastard wasn't there yet. The one time Ed actually wants to see him, is when he is late.

Damn his luck.

And so Ed just stood there waiting, his temper rising as Harry and Ron caught up with him. Honestly, these wizards needed some exercise. When Ed finally saw him walking down the corridor, Ed went up to him, ready to hit something. It was damn weird to just stand next to someone who you considered your friends, but couldn't say a single word to.

"Edward, ha-bladdy-blah-bah?" Mustang asked, sounding like a fool just like the rest of them.

"DAMMIT, COLONEL! TAKE OFF THAT FUCKING AMULET AND HELP ME FIND MINE!" Ed shouted even though they were only three metres apart.

Mustang seemed to get the message and lifted it off his head. "Where's your amulet, Fullmetal?"

Ed had to say that it was great to actually talk like normal around Mustang, but this was damned annoying situation. "Somebody stole it while I was reading a letter from Al! I can't even go to Dumbledore because the gargoyle demands a fucking password in English!"

Which was when Ed heard a cackling laugh and turned his head upwards to see what undoubtedly had to be that damned poltergeist known as "Peeves" twirling his amulet in the air, laughing his head off. Ed grabbed the Colonel's amulet and threw it over his own head, which caused Peeves to start singing.

"_One day good old Peevsie had some fun,_

_By making the young, angry Muggle run._

_And it was a struggle_

_For the little Muggle_

_And –_"

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"

Ed clapped his hands and slammed them to the ground, creating several stone pillars that he ran on top of before he used his momentum to jump on Peeves, yanking his amulet out of his hand while also making sure to hit him with his automail fist. Peeves flew through the air and crashed into a wall as Ed landed in a controlled crouch. He removed the Colonel's amulet and threw it to him before putting his own around his neck again.

He stood up, still seething, suddenly realising that he had drawn a bit of a crowd from the surrounding classrooms. Then suddenly someone patted him on the back. "Wow, Ed, you punched Peeves!" It was Fred.

"OF COURSE I FUCKING PUNCHED HIM! HE WAS BEING A JERK!"

"No, I mean, you're probably the first person in history to actually do that."

"THEN YOU WIZARDS NEED SOME TRAINING!"

Peeves seemed to have gathered himself again and hung in the air above him, smirking.

_"Oh the Muggle sure don't like Peevsie!_

_Look: he'll shout himself wheezy!_

_But of course he will call_

_When you call him –_"

"FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU WITH A FUCKING TEASPOON!"

"May I ask why you people are out here in the corridors instead of inside the classrooms?" Dumbledore asked pleasantly.

Peeves came to a halt and began to speak, but Ed interrupted him. "YOUR DAMN POLTERGEIST IS BEING A FUCKING SORE LOSER!"

"What do you mean to say by that, Mister Elric?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

Ed was still seething, but he calmed himself down and spoke through gritted teeth. "Peeves stole my translation amulet and I punched him as I got it back."

"Peeves, is this true?"

"Ah, you see, your Headmastership, Sir, Peeves was just having a friendly little joke. That's all. All good fun."

"THE HELL YOU WERE!" Ed shouted.

Dumbledore held up a hand, silencing Ed. Ed didn't care, moving forwards to say what was on his mind. Then Mustang put a hand on his shoulder, holding him back. Ed glared at him as Dumbledore spoke.

"Peeves, you know full well that you are not allowed to steal from the students. I cannot just let this pass. You will not seek to irritate Mister Elric further, nor be in the same room as him for the rest of the year. I will ask the Bloody Baron to make sure that you respect these restrictions. That is all I have to say on the matter."

Peeves hung his head. "Yes, your Headmastership, Sir." Then he flew off down the hall and out of sight, looking slightly afraid.

Ed really didn't want to thank Dumbledore, he still felt like he had basically let go of his pride, having the Headmaster help him like that.

Dumbledore clapped his hands happily. "Well, now that that is settled, please do return to your respective classrooms."

And so the three classes that had gathered there, quickly went back to their classrooms, discussing the events loudly and excitedly.

Ed shook Mustang's hand off his shoulder and joined Harry and Ron. "Bloody hell, mate! You hit Peeves and now he's banned from being in the same room as you?! You know, you're gonna get into the history books at this rate!" Ron said, awestruck.

_Come to think of it, being the youngest State Alchemist ever, I probably am…_

Ed went back to the Alchemy classroom and sat down, finding that fear of clubs actually had helped Malfoy out quite a lot.

* * *

When Ed got back to the Gryffindor common room that afternoon, he groaned as he read the note hanging on the notice board.

"Ah hell, we'll start flying on Thursday?" Ed moaned. And that wasn't the worst of it, they would be having those lessons with the Slytherins. Well, if Malfoy came after him on a broomstick, Ed was going to make sure to hit him with his automail fist and call it self defence.

The next few days were drowned in talk about flying. Ed decided to just ask the Weasley twins as they actually had finished their lessons. And so he went over to them that Tuesday afternoon as he found them playing with something odd that Ed didn't even know how to describe because it was clearly put together with magic and little else. The two of them turned around as he approached. Their respect for him had gone through the roof after his display of physical aptitude combined with alchemy.

"Ah, Ed! What may we help you with today, our dear Muggle friend?" Fred asked him, grinning.

"The other first years are discussing flying lessons and I'm getting tired of your brother telling people how he nearly hit a hang-glider. Can you two give me the actual facts about flying?"

"You've come to the right people!" George said, smiling.

"Yeah, we're on the Gryffindor house team, you know! We can tell you anything you need!" Fred supplied.

"That's Quidditch you're talking about, right?" Ed had learnt all he could about the school in order to actually fulfil his duties. That included that ridiculous sport they practiced.

"Indeed it is … now, what would you like to know?"

"How does it work? How do you make it move?"

"Oh, you're gonna have no problems with that! It's easy! It's just leaning in the direction you want to go! The way you move on the ground, I wouldn't be surprised if you turned out to be a natural!" George said.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, take it easy, Ed. You'll be starting out easy anyway, there's no need to worry."

"So it's really that easy? You just lean in the direction you want to go?"

"Yeah, you'll be fine, Ed."

"Excuse me, Edward, could I have a word?" Ed turned around and was met by Hermione Granger. She was looking like she had been chewing her lower lip a lot the last twenty-four hours. She seemed ashamed of something.

"What do you want?"

In answer she held up Al's letter from the day before.

Ed felt his eyes widen in horror.

"You didn't."

She hung her head. "I did."

Ed grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the portrait hole and into a nearby broom closet, transmuting a stone wall to cover the door. This way Ed could be sure not to be overheard as the portraits could fucking visit each other and talk.

Ed grabbed Al's letter, getting a horrible suspicion and removed his amulet, looking at it again. The writing was in English. He slid the amulet back on. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU READ MY MAIL!?"

"I j-just found it lying there yesterday, and I wanted to try out a translation spell, and then I began reading … I'm sorry."

Ed felt seriously inclined to hit her, but dragging girls that are two years younger than you into broom closets and then hitTing them isn't looked too favourable upon by the general public. Ed hit his automail fist against the wall instead, making a small indentation into it.

Hermione gasped. "How did you do that?"

_Ah, shit. Now I have to tell her about the automail too?_

"DAMMIT!"

Hermione cowered, looking scared at him.

Ed sighed, calming down slightly from her frightened look. "Take it easy, I'm not gonna hit you, although you deserve it." He scratched the back of his head, deciding to make absolutely sure that things really were as bad as they seemed. "Did you read all of it?"

She just nodded her head.

"Ah, fuck. Fine. Then ask. But you're not telling anything to anyone, okay?"

"Uh-hm. Are you really a State Alchemist?"

"Yes. I'm known as the Fullmetal Alchemist back home."

"And you're thirteen?"

"Yeah. Passed the exam nearly a year ago now."

"And you're on a mission?"

"Yes." Ed thought through the best description he could give while making sure to keep this nosy little brat away from things that could get her into danger. "I was brought in by Dumbledore to keep an extra eye on Harry."

"Oh, did he say why?"

"No. And I don't ask because I receive my orders from the fucking Führer, so you should just let it lie."

"And is Professor Mustang your uncle?"

"Nope. He's my CO."

"And you have a brother?"

"Yeah. Alphonse is my little brother."

"How could you hit the wall like that? Didn't it hurt?"

In answer, Ed just removed his right glove before he flexed his fingers.

"That's automail, isn't it? I've read about it, isn't it really painful to get?"

"Yeah."

"How much of your arm –?"

"Did I lose? All of it."

She was quiet for a while and Ed slid his glove back on.

"So you've been in the military since you were twelve? That must be hard."

"Yes, I have, and no, it's not. Mostly I'm just out on missions, beating up bad guys. I get to have Al with me, though, so that helps."

"You must feel so lonely without him."

Ed didn't really want to get pitied by the girl that fucking read his mail. He held the letter out in front of him. "Can you change this back into Amestrian?"

She nodded and tapped her wand against the sheets of paper as she said a few of her gibberish words.

Ed folded the letter and put it inside his pocket. "Don't breathe a word about this to anyone, not even the teachers. And before you stick your nose into something else that doesn't belong to you, just remember that there must be a reason as to why I was brought in here. I'm the professional, you're not. If you see or find anything suspicious, you tell me. You do NOT investigate it on your own."

Hermione nodded her head shyly and Ed clapped his hands before removing the wall in front of the broom closet.

Ed strode right past her and headed back for the common room.

He just hoped that Hermione Granger was trustworthy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP or FMA.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

Two days passed since Ed's talk with Hermione, and judging by the lack of deadly attacks or spreading rumours, she had actually managed to keep her mouth shut. She kept eyeing Ed nervously, which he thought was stupid, because now most of the Gryffindors thought they were either dating or had just broken up. The worst part was that Ed couldn't really give any other answers than "NO WE'RE NOT!" because he couldn't reveal that she had read his letter, because then everyone would wonder why his letter was so secret in the first place. People had learnt not to keep asking him, though, as it put them at risk of being punched by his unusually strong right arm. Thursday morning was therefore pretty quiet except for a near-fight with Malfoy over a magic ball that Neville had got from his grandmother.

Then came the flying lessons.

When they came over to the field, they found the Slytherins and about twenty brooms lying on the ground. Ed scoffed at the idiocy of the fact that he was supposed to be riding one of those stupid twigs.

He was slightly surprised by Madam Hooch' visage. Her hair looked like she'd recently been in an explosion. She ordered them to stand by their brooms, holding their right hand above them and say "UP!"

Ed did as he was told and stood next to Harry raising his hand over the broom and said "UP!"

And the damned thing flew straight up into his hand like a loyal dog or something. Ed glared at the broom in his hand and found it to be the final straw. "NO! YOU'RE A FUCKING TWIG! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW ORDERS!"

"Hey, Ed, take it easy. It probably means that you're a good flier," Harry whispered, smiling slightly. His broom had flown up into his hand too, but they were among a select few.

Ed groaned. He didn't want to be good at flying. He honestly didn't. It felt like magic was tearing his instincts as a scientist apart and this fucking stick in his hand was laughing at him. He was so fed up with this and he hadn't even been here for two weeks.

Once people were all holding their broomsticks, they were asked to mount them and Ed was seriously considering hitting a teacher when she told him his grip was perfect.

Then they were given instructions on how they were supposed to hover, but during Madam Hooch's countdown, a thoroughly nervous Neville kicked off from the ground too early and he shot into the air, obviously not in control of his broom at all. Ed saw where this was going and leapt forwards, throwing the broom away and clapped his hands and slammed them to the ground, transmuting it into soft mud to dampen the fall. Ed heard screaming and yelling and then everything turned black.

* * *

Ed's head felt weird. It wasn't sore and it didn't hurt, it was just _tender_. He heard voices around him and he opened his eyes slowly. Three boys were peering nervously at him from the foot of the bed. "How are you?" Harry, Ron and Neville asked at the same time.

"What happened?" Ed asked, confused.

"Well, mate, you transmuted the ground and Neville sort of hit you and you banged your head on your arm. Cracked your skull and everything," Ron said, gesturing towards his right arm. Someone had obviously changed him into a pair of pyjamas which left his automail hand fully exposed. Judging by Neville's lack of a reaction, Harry and Ron had already told him about it.

Neville had tears in his eyes. "Y-you saved me and we thought you'd died!"

"Take it easy, Neville, I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm all right. Y-you broke my fall so I didn't get injured and I landed in the soft mud."

"Great. Now all I have to do is get out of this place and we can get back to the common room."

"You'll do no such thing, Mister!"

Ed turned to his right where the the woman who was obviously the matron here was walking sternly towards him. "I mended it at once, but you're still staying here overnight."

"The hell I am." Ed threw off his covers and moved to stand up, when a pair of strong hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back.

"You're staying here, Edward." Ed looked up at Mustang and growled at his do-it-or-I'll-court-martial-you way of speaking.

"You're here too?" Ed moaned.

"Of course! You had your skull cracked!"

Ed swore inwardly, he had almost blown their whole uncle/guardian-nephew/charge cover.

"But apparently I'm fine! Why can't I leave?"

"Edward, just take it easy, please?" Mustang sighed.

Ed grunted, definitely planning on breaking out of the hospital wing later. He just needed for Mustang and the matron to go to bed first.

Ed put his head back on the pillows, which was when he noticed the fact that his head had been wrapped in bandages and his plait had been removed, causing his hair to fall down on his shoulders.

Then the hospital doors burst open and Fred and George strode in just as Mustang finished pulling the covers back over Ed, trying to keep their cover.

"Ed! We heard you almost died during flying lessons, what happened?" George asked, obviously scared. Fred didn't look much better. Then their eyes widened upon seeing his automail.

_Ah, fuck. So now they know too?_

"I'm fine, got a cracked skull when my head hit my arm." Ed was trying to spare Neville from further embarrassment by telling them that he had crashed against his head.

"We heard, buddy. Do you mind if we ask –" Fred began.

"—about your hand?" George finished. The two twins were looking relieved to find him in such a good shape.

"Had an accident, lost my arm and got an automail prosthetic instead." Ed was getting slightly impatient. This mission was turning out to be annoying as hell and now five new people had learnt about the automail just this week. Worst, however, was that he was currently surrounded by people that were pitying him.

"Wow, that's horrible," Fred said aghast.

"Sorry, buddy," George supplied.

"It's okay. I'm used to it."

"Can I just say that Mr. Elric needs peace. Three visitors at most!" the matron said sternly.

"So why were there four when I woke up?" Ed said, annoyed with this whole situation.

"Your uncle is a teacher and your only relative, he doesn't count."

"Of course he doesn't," Ed mumbled sarcastically.

"Now, two of you will have to leave!"

"Then I guess we'll see you later, Ed!" Fred said with a wave.

"And get better soon!" George added, waving.

Ed waved back at them. "No word about the automail, though!"

"Of course! See yah!" The twins said together.

Ed had an idea striking him as the doors shut behind them. He turned towards the Colonel. "But if I'm here, I can't lead the detention group!"

"No. Which means that I'll take over for you today. I am able to come up with my own training schedule after all."

Ed couldn't help but grin slightly at the idea of whatever physical program the Colonel had in mind.

"Besides," Mustang began. "—Major Armstrong was kind enough to give me a training schedule a few months back."

Ed began laughing evilly at the idea of whatever that seven-foot tall muscular madman must have concocted, getting a few curious looks from the room's four non-Amestrian occupants. Ed thought this was too good to let these poor people miss, so he looked up at the matron. "I'm not leaving, I'm just gonna give you guys a visual aid." Ed swung his feet out of the bed and clapped his hands, transmuting a live-sized stone version of the Major.

Neville yelped.

Ed may have recreated the way that Major Armstrong looked when he was pressuring people for information, smoke coming out of his nostrils, shirtless and with bulging muscles. "Let me introduce Major Alex Louis Armstrong. Those four Slytherins will most likely never want to cross a Muggle ever again after trying out his training schedule."

Ron's eyes were practically sparkling with delight before both him and Harry burst out laughing.

"Oh, Uncle Roy, please tell them that tomorrow's session will be three hours, they're going to need to stretch out after the Major's programme."

"Will do."

Ron was laughing on the floor, but Neville was still whimpering behind Harry's shoulders. The matron seemed to be studying the statue. "That is quite impressive work, Mister Elric. I never knew that Muggles possessed such power."

Which was why Ed had made it his task this year to tell these wizards that Muggles could beat their stupid sticks and silly words. Ed clapped his hands again and transmuted the floor back to normal before sitting back in his bed.

"Well, Professor Mustang, I expect that you will make sure that your nephew stays in bed. I will be in my office, just call me if you need anything," the matron announced before she left.

Harry and Ron looked like they wanted to tell him something, but didn't dare with Mustang and Neville present, and the four of them left when the Colonel announced that they should get back to the Gryffindor common room, it was getting late and they weren't allowed to stay in other parts of the castle in thirty minutes anyway. Ed saw what time it was and sorely regretted not being able to view the exercise spectacle that would unfold in fifteen minutes. Harry and Ron said that they'd see him at breakfast and Ed decided that he may as well use the peace and quiet to write a letter to Al.

* * *

The matron turned off the lights at ten o'clock and Ed decided to wait two hours just to be completely sure. He removed the bandages around his head and transmuted them into a pair of gloves instead. Then he leapt out of the bed and transmuted the door that had been magicked shut in order to make a wooden doorway and stepped right through it. He then returned it to normal, grinning to himself.

Problem was, he had been unconscious when he had been brought to the hospital wing, so he didn't exactly know where he was.

He found his way into what he recognised as the charms corridor, where he suddenly saw a few familiar faces looking at him.

"Ed! What the hell are you doing here, mate?" Ron asked.

"I broke out of the hospital wing. Hospital beds give me the creeps. Why are you guys here? And why is she with you?" Ed pointed to Hermione who was panting heavily, looking grumpy next to Harry and Ron.

"Because I tried to stop them from being stupid, but then the Fat Lady had left her portrait so now these two are witnesses to my innocence."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Apparently she is, mate. Malfoy set a trap, trying to get us expelled. We just outran Filch," Ron told him, panting.

_Great._

And then Peeves shot out of the classroom door between them. He took a look at Harry, Ron and Hermione and then he turned around and saw Ed. He grinned widely, seeing a way to get some revenge. "My-my, Mr. Muggle! You really shouldn't be out for a midnight stroll, I better call Filch, you know."

"The hell you will!"

"STUDENTS OUT OF BED! STUDENTS OUT OF BED DOWN THE CHARMS CORRIDOR!"

Ron, Harry and Hermione ran towards Ed, trying to get away from the direction that Filch would be coming from. The four of them ran straight for the door at the end of the corridor, the one Ed had come from seemed to have disappeared. The door was locked and Ed clapped his hands just as Hermione pushed them away with an "Oh, move over," grabbing Harry's wand and tapped it against the door uttering another one of her stupid "spells", unlocking the door.

They went into the room, listening silently at the door. Ed had a nasty feeling that they weren't alone in the room, and slowly moved to transmute the protective plating on his automail into a blade, ripping his glove into shreds as he turned around quickly.

Looking straight at a three-headed dog. A **gigantic** three-headed dog.

Standing in the corridor in front of him.

And it clearly wasn't happy to receive any guests.

And as usual with dogs, it also seemed to want to jump on top of Ed.

Ed stood there frozen, trying not to trigger any response from the thing. "You three, I suggest we leave right away," Ed whispered. The dog still seemed to be surprised by the sudden appearance of four highly edible students.

"We should wait till we're sure that Filch is completely gone!" Harry hissed.

"Filch is better than death, so move!" Ed hissed back. The dog was getting ready to pounce.

Ed thankfully heard Harry open the door, obviously having seen what was behind him, and the three people behind Ed's back swiftly disappeared just as the dog leapt forwards. Ed turned and ran out, briefly noticing the large claw nearly nicking his shoulder as the other three slammed the door shut behind him and Hermione tapped the lock with the wand again.

Then they ran.

…Or, the wizards ran.

…Ed jogged.

He kept sure to keep them in front of him, should they run into Filch, at least Ed would be found out, after all, they were going to notice his absence in the hospital bed. The other three didn't need an expulsion right now. He was about to follow the three others up a narrow staircase when a wall of flames erupted in front of him and Ed stopped immediately.

"What the hell are you doing out of the hospital wing?!" Mustang demanded as Ed turned around to face him. He swiftly threw off his amulet and Ed imitated him. If he was about to be yelled at, he'd rather keep it in a language that nobody else understood. "What good did you think it would do you?"

"I wasn't staying in a freaking hospital wing longer than necessary!"

Mustang rolled his eyes. "I thought you wanted to keep the automail hidden, Fullmetal."

Ed looked down at the steel blade protruding from his right sleeve. "Well, for your information, I nearly got eaten because these wizards keep a fucking three-headed dog in the forbidden corridor on the third floor!"

"And why were you there in the first place?"

"Did you not hear what I just said? A. Gigantic. Three-headed. DOG. I don't even see how it could have been a chimera! And they've got it guarding some sort of trap door!"

"As interesting as that sounds, Fullmetal, I would still like to know what you were doing there."

"How the hell is that more important?!"

"Because, Fullmetal, you could be compromising the whole mission with nightly escapades like this because you could get yourself expelled! Now, we're going back up to the hospital wing and you're going to stay there for the entire night, you understand me? And that's an order!"

Ed just grunted and began striding back to the hospital wing.

"Besides, Fullmetal, it only means that we now know where the object is hidden and nothing else. Now, I want you not to go back to check it out, is that understood? You're here to guard Potter and keep an eye out for suspicious people, not become one yourself."


	8. Chapter 8

**I can't believe this thing has got 76 followers, THANK YOU!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or HP.**

* * *

**Chapter eight**

Madam Pomfrey was _not _impressed with Ed's breakout from the hospital wing, and firmly shoved him back into bed the moment he turned up. She had been the one to fetch Mustang in the first place, and Ed was actually glad that it wasn't one of the other teachers she had gone to. After all, it was nice not to be expelled and blow the mission.

However, it did mean that Ed had a babysitter for the rest of the night. Apparently Mustang didn't trust him not to escape the hospital wing again if left unsupervised, which Madam Pomfrey thought was very good. What was worse, though, was that since Ed had left the bed and had "undoubtedly been over-exerting himself" he was forced to stay even longer and would miss the next day's classes. He just hoped that Harry and Ron wouldn't worry that he'd been expelled.

"Just go to sleep, Edward," Mustang told him exasperatedly. They had removed their translation amulets and were speaking Amestrian again. It was two in the morning and Mustang was sitting in a visitor's chair with his cheek in his hand and his eyes seemed to be begging for sleep. Ed, however, was not going to lose this contest. Yes, he would stay, but it wouldn't be because of his babysitter. And so Ed was going to stay awake until the Colonel fell asleep.

"Do you have any idea what the object is?" Ed inquired.

"No, I don't."

"Why wouldn't Dumbledore tell us, you think?"

"Because we're still outsiders. He needs to know that he can trust us first."

"So we're just supposed to guard something without knowing what it is?" Ed was annoyed and damned curious.

"Yes. We're soldiers after all."

"So we're supposed to trust them without them trusting us back?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It's called diplomacy, Fullmetal. This is important for the Amestrian-British relation. You're actually part of a rather big historic event."

"And I couldn't care less."

Mustang sighed. "Of course not."

"This is stupid. I'm perfectly okay, I don't need to stay here. My head feels fine."

"You know, Fullmetal, if this had been Amestris, you would most certainly not have been fine. Just consider yourself lucky."

"If this had been Amestris, I wouldn't have had a student falling on my head in the first place because we _don't ride those fucking broomsticks!_"

"Apparently we do."

"What?!"

"At least the magical community does. There are wizards in Amestris too. We even have our own school and everything."

Ed felt his jaw drop. "What the hell?! How do you know that?"

"Filius, Professor Flitwick to you, told me. Lent me a book on it and everything. It makes sense in a way. Apparently magic is usually hereditary, although Muggle-borns are relatively common. They live all over the world, and Amestris is a large country with over fifty million people, so it's only to be expected."

"Ah, heck. I hoped it was just these British guys."

"Afraid not, Fullmetal. Although, because of the relation between magic and alchemy, the magical community in Amestris is much better hidden there. Turns out that a few of the people that have tried out for the State Alchemist exam have been wizards and not alchemists, and were therefore forced to resign. The Führer knows about all this as well. He isn't allowed to let wizards into the military because of some sort of international Muggle protection act."

Ed felt a headache coming on. Amestris was supposed to be a scientific haven, but they were nearly as bad as these people? "So these wizards are everywhere in the world?"

"Yes." Ed could see that Mustang was partially disgusted by the idea, but seemed to still enjoy the torture it brought Ed to hear about it. Maybe it was some sort of revenge for his lost sleep or something.

* * *

In the end, it turned out that none of them fell asleep and Ed's head was so filled with Amestrian magical history that he wanted to puke when Madam Pomfrey finally let him leave the following afternoon. He found Harry and Ron in the Gryffindor common room and the two boys immediately jumped from their seats as he opened the portrait hole.

"Ed! We thought you'd been expelled, mate!" Ron said, eyes wide.

"I'm not. Let's go up to the dormitory, and then you two can fill me in on what happened to you."

"But where were you?" Harry asked. "You missed classes."

"Madam Pomfrey forced me to stay in the hospital wing longer because she was convinced that my breakout was a strenuous activity." Ed was damned tired and when he'd found out what Harry and Ron were keeping secret, he would lay down in his bed and just go to sleep until today's training session.

Ed sat down on his bed with a great sigh. "So, what have I been missing?"

"Depends on how much you mean?" Harry said.

"Something happened with Malfoy after I got knocked out yesterday, so what's been going on?"

"How do you know that?" Ron asked.

"You were out walking in the middle of the night after saying that Malfoy tricked you. And I guess it has something to do with the way you were avoiding looking at my uncle yesterday."

"Oh," Ron said. "Well, after you got knocked out, Madame Hooch brought you and Neville to the hospital wing."

"Why? I thought Neville didn't get hurt?"

"He passed out when he saw you lying there, he thought he'd killed you. There was a lot of blood, you know." Ron gulped slightly.

Ed felt a bit sorry for his friends. That couldn't have been fun. "I see."

"Anyway, Malfoy said that it was "just as well that the Muggle brat didn't get to ride a broom, otherwise they'd probably have to burn it to get rid of your filth."" Ron and Harry both looked at him with a kind of awkward outrage.

Ed scoffed. "Sounds like him." He really hoped that he would end up with another detention soon.

"Well, we didn't like it and then Malfoy flew off with Neville's Remembrall, planning to leave it in a tree, and Harry flew off after him."

"You did? I thought you didn't know how to?" Ed looked over at Harry who was blushing slightly.

"Harry's amazing! A real natural! He really showed Malfoy when he did a perfect dive and caught the Remembrall! But then Professor McGonagall came and we thought he'd been expelled."

"What happened?" Ed was having a few problems with picturing Harry flying, and Ron's recount didn't really help, but Ed was more interested in his charge risking expulsion.

"Professor McGonagall brought me to the Gryffindor team captain. I got the spot as seeker," Harry said a little shyly.

"I thought first-years weren't allowed on the school teams?"

"Harry's the youngest in a century!" Ron said.

"Oh, congratulations!" Ed still thought it was a stupid sport, but he knew how it was to be the youngest of something and figured that he may as well cheer his friend on in his achievement. It made Ed wonder how the pair of them were going to react when Ed would finally get to tell them that he was a State Alchemist when the mission was done.

Harry smiled. "Thanks."

"Anyway, Malfoy got really angry that Harry didn't get expelled, so he challenged us to a wizard's duel at midnight, but it turned out to be a trap. But what about you, mate? We heard Professor Mustang talking and we panicked." Both Ron and Harry looked down, obviously ashamed of running away from him.

"Don't worry about it. My uncle was cool about it."

"He trapped you with flames, mate."

"Well, okay, so he was pissed off, but the only ones that know about my breakout are Madam Pomfrey and my uncle, so it's fine. I just had a fucking babysitter for the rest of the night, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking a well-deserved nap."

And with that, Ed leaned back on his bed and shut his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Somehow the next seven weeks went by without Ed really being sure where they had gone. He had got quite a few enemies by now because of his training sessions. Most of the people that received detentions were Slytherins, although there had been a few others that were late on homework or joked about in class. What made Ed cringe was the fact that a few of the older students were clearly getting infatuated with Mustang, probably because he was the youngest professor at the school. Twenty-seven and a Colonel seemed to be something that the older girls appreciated. What was problematic was that Ed was constantly being held back by these girls so that they could get a few hints on what kind of girls that his uncle liked. Harry and Ron kept giving him sympathetic looks while the Weasley twins thought that it was hilarious. Especially when Percy came exasperated from an Alchemy lesson, sighing deeply. He complained loudly about how he hardly could focus on the components of oak compared to birch when the three girls behind him kept giggling at every word their professor said.

Ed was pleased that Hermione still hadn't told anyone his real reason for being here, and that she also seemed to be keeping out of trouble. That was until she was paired with Ron during Charms. Ed watched as she thoroughly pissed him off, knowing that this would end badly.

It did.

Ron bad-mouthed her, she overheard him and didn't show up for the rest of the lessons that day. It really didn't help that they overheard two of their classmates telling each other that Hermione was crying in the girls's toilets and wanted to be left alone. Yet, it sort of put the matter out of their heads as soon as they walked into the Great Hall which was decorated beyond belief.

"What the hell?!"

"It's Hallowe'en, mate," Ron said, smiling, but obviously unimpressed.

"But still … That's gotta be about two thousand bats …"

"Come on, it's dinner!"

Ed followed Ron and Harry and attacked the dinner with his usual amount of gusto. The way Ed thought about it, when the food could appear magically, it could damn well disappear just as quickly, which meant that he had to eat swiftly. He didn't get far, however, before Professor Quirrel ran over to Dumbledore, slumped against the table and gasped. "Troll in the dungeons – thought you ought to know."

Then he fainted.

Once again Ed found Professor Quirrel's nerve to be severely unconvincing.

People were screaming and crying all over the place. Dumbledore brought silence by shooting several purple firecrackers with his wand and instructed the Prefects to lead their houses back to their dormitories. They were lead by Percy who was clearly in his element, ordering them about.

"Is troll invasions common with you?" Ed asked calmly. He knew that wizards had trolls and knew he could kick its ass in his sleep, so he wasn't really worried.

"No! I don't know how it got in, they're supposed to be really stupid. Maybe Peeves let it in as a joke," Ron said.

Ed froze just before Harry grabbed Ron's arm, clearly thinking the same thing. "Nobody told Hermione," they said to Ron.

"Alright, I'll go find her, I'm the only one of us that is actually qualified to do this," Ed said.

"We're not leaving you on your own! It's a troll!" Harry hissed.

"Remember what I said about being an alchemic prodigy? Don't insult me."

"Listen, mate, we're gonna tell Percy if you run off on your own, you understand?" Ron said sternly.

Ed growled at them. "Fine! But you guys stay behind me!"

And so Ed was thoroughly annoyed as he lead the way over to the girls's toilets, until they heard quick footsteps and Ed pulled Harry and Ron behind a large stone griffin just around the corner. Peering around it, they saw Snape crossing the corridor and disappear from view.

Ed added it to his mental folder of suspicious teacher stuff.

They headed down the corridor and Harry said something that was kind of deafened by the foul stench invading Ed's nostrils. "What's that?"

Then they heard noises that Ed could only describe as "troll-ish". He pulled Harry and Ron back into the shadows, watching as the troll moved slowly into their line of vision from the other end of the corridor. It looked pretty much like Ed had expected a troll to look like. It had a club which it dragged behind it but Ed was mostly just focused upon the smell. It was almost over-powering.

_That thing really needs a bath._

The troll slouched over to a doorway and after making up up its mind, slouched into the room.

"The key's in the lock, we could lock it in," Harry muttered.

"I'm on it," Ed said, sprinting quietly forwards and decided instead upon just clapping before slamming his hands to the ground, transmuting a stone wall in order not to take any unnecessary risks. Harry and Ron were soon at his side, looking over at the door.

"You did it, mate!" Ron said.

Then they heard a scream from behind the wall.

"Ah, shit," Ed said just as Harry and Ron gasped and exclaimed "Hermione!"

Ed transmuted the floor back to normal as he ran forwards. He then transmuted his usual automail blade just to be sure as he sprinted into the girls's toilets, watching Hermione cowering in a corner, looking like she was about to faint.

Ed transmuted a stone fist that grabbed the club that the troll was carrying. He then made a stone pillar that shot out of the floor, hitting the troll squarely in the jaw. It stumbled dazedly before it fell backwards. Ed turned to run, but crashed against Harry and Ron. Ed pushed them away in desperation but knew the delay put himself right in the troll's way. And sure enough, he soon felt a large weight on his left leg and fell forwards, not liking the crunching noise coming from his automail limb.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT LEAVING THIS TO ME?!" Ed shouted, lying on his stomach, trapped beneath a fucking troll.

Hermione was screaming and ran over to him. "Oh! Edward! Are you okay? Are you injured? Oh my! How's your leg?"

"Automail. Don't worry. The troll's out cold, right?"

Hermione was shivering as she looked over at it. "Yes, I think so, its eyes are closed at least."

"Great." Ed clapped his hands and slammed them to the floor, making it lift the troll slightly off his leg so that he could get out from under it. Ed turned around, finding his leg to be flattened from the knee down and his ankle simply broken off. "Ah, shit. Winry's gonna kill me."

Then there was a series of loud footsteps and Professor McGonagall, Snape and Quirrel came into the room, just staring at them. Particularly Ed who was sitting there with a flattened limb and an automail blade sticking out of his right sleeve.

"Mister Elric! Are you alright?!" Professor McGonagall asked, shocked, walking over to his leg.

"Yeah, it's automail, don't worry."

Snape had walked over to the troll and was examining it.

Professor McGonagall seemed to grow angry now that she knew that one of her students weren't dying on the floor. "What were you three thinking?!" she asked Ed, Harry and Ron sharply. "You're lucky you weren't killed! Why aren't you in your dormitories?!"

"Please, Professor," Hermione began, making her presence know. "They were looking for me."

"Miss Granger!"

"I went looking for the troll because I – I thought I could deal with it on my own – you know, because I've read all about them."

_Well, that was nice of her…_

"If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead by now. Edward used his alchemy to knock it out, but he got his leg trapped under it. They didn't have time to come and fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived."

Ed assumed his poker face in order not to reveal that this story was about fifty per cent bullshit.

"Well – in that case …" Professor McGonagall began, staring at them. "Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?" She paused. "Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this. I'm very disappointed in you. If you're not hurt at all, you'd better get off to Gryffindor Tower. Students are finishing the feast in their houses."

Hermione left.

Professor McGonagall turned towards Harry and Ron. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are? I can understand that Mister Elric would go, at least he's a fully qualified alchemist, but you two …"

"I'm sorry, Professor, but that one's my fault. I let them come with me in order to save time. If you're going to give anyone detention, then at least give it to the one who actually said yes," Ed said. He still felt slightly that he deserved to have lost some points for running about late at night that time. And honestly, Ed was Harry's bodyguard and the boy had come dangerously close to getting hit by a troll.

"Mister Elric, I understand that you may think like that, but remember that you are still just thirteen. Ten points will be taken from Gryffindor. Now, Mister Elric, I'm awarding you twenty points for taking out the troll and protecting your fellow students, none of you will receive detention. I will take you to the Headmaster to find out what to do about your leg, and I will of course inform your uncle." She turned to Harry and Ron. "I suggest you two go up to your dormitory."

Ed transmuted his arm back to normal, before he pulled up his trouser leg, admitting defeat. Anything from the knee down was crushed beyond recognition and so Ed sighed and clapped his hands, removing the crushed parts in order to make movement easier. He then dragged himself over to one of the smashed wooden doors and transmuted himself a crutch. He stood up, crutch under his left arm, and began hopping forwards.

"Why are you looking so scared, Mister Elric?" Professor McGonagall asked curiously as she walked beside him.

"My mechanic's gonna kill me for this."


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or HP.**

* * *

**Chapter nine**

"Mister Elric, are you sure you don't want me to conjure you a wheelchair or something? The Headmaster's office is still quite a distance from here," Professor McGonagall asked after about twenty metres. Ed knew that he wasn't moving that fast at the moment, but he was still getting used to the crutch and the uneven leftovers of his left leg made his balance off, especially counting in the massive pull that his automail arm was making to the right.

"Not necessary, I'm just calibrating."

"Calibrating? What do you mean?"

"I'm just getting the hang of this."

"But Mister Elric, it really would be much more comfortable for you with a wheelchair."

"Nope. I spent enough time in one of those two years ago before I got my automail. I'm not gonna go back to that stage again."

"You mean to say you only used two years to get used to it? I've heard that it should take at least three just to recover?" Professor McGonagall sounded shocked.

"One. I used one year." Ed was getting the hang of his crutch now and was hopping with much greater ease.

"Only one?! But that is nearly impossible."

"Yeah, well, I'm stubborn."

"But still –"

"It's done, Professor."

"But what on earth made you do it? If you were only eleven … that's hardly an age to go through such a thing."

"I had something I had to do."

"And what could that be at such a young age?" Professor McGonagall wasn't interrogating him, she just seemed shocked and actually a bit sad about it.

"If you don't mind, Professor, that's my business."

"But your uncle was okay with it?"

"Like I said, I'm stubborn."

"Well, Mister Elric, I can understand that the Sorting Hat put you in my house. Mind if I ask you what other house it was considering you for?"

"Ravenclaw. Apparently the deciding point was that I like red. Gets my blood boiling."

"It was that close? You know, I was a Hatstall myself and it considered me too for Ravenclaw."

"It did, huh? Cool." Ed was slightly surprised to find himself making small talk with the Professor, but at the same time, he was pretty used to having to talk to older people of authority. It came with being in the military.

Professor McGonagall moved to assist him as they reached the first of many staircases, but Ed just waved her away with his free hand and made his way up the stairs without too much difficulty. "Don't worry, I've got it."

"So you're done "calibrating" as you put it?"

"Yup."

Only after five minutes did Ed realise that he had in fact just once said anything formal to Professor McGonagall, but somehow, the woman hadn't seemed to notice.

Or so he thought.

Well, he wasn't going to change it now.

They made their way to Dumbledore's office and Professor McGonagall knocked twice on the door.

"Please come in."

Ed hopped into the office and slumped into the chair in front of the desk, facing a slightly smiling Dumbledore.

"Mister Elric defeated the troll, Professor Dumbledore, but his leg was crushed in the process."

"Yes, Professor Dippet told me so."

Ed was quite sure that the man was joking, but apparently he wasn't, even though there weren't anyone on staff by that name.

"Very well, Professor. I'll go inform Mister Elric's uncle."

"Please do, although I suspect it might take some time."

"I'll tell him."

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall."

The woman bowed and then left the room.

"I need my mechanic," Ed said the moment the Professor was out of earshot.

"I suspected so. How about we go fetch him?"

"Fetch? And it's a she."

"Well, we apparate of course. You just tell me the location."

Ed considered just sending Dumbledore to fetch her on his own, but then he imagined how Winry and Granny would react if the man just popped up in their living room, and decided that a friendly face was probably a good idea. "Fine. It's Rockbell Automail, otherwise known as Rockbell Prosthetic Limb Outfitters. They're in Resembool. And if you're bringing her for a few days, you'd better let Al come too." There was no question about that. Ed would be damned if he let his little brother stay in Resembool when he was so excited about all this magic crap.

"Ah, that was your brother, yes?"

"Yeah. He's staying with the Rockbells this year. They're old friends."

"How lovely. I suppose he could stay here with Miss Rockbell for the next few days if you say he's a friend."

"Good."

Ed was thrilled about actually getting to see his little brother again. It had been two months and Ed was damned tired of being without him by his side. Harry and Ron were great and all, but Alphonse was Ed's little brother. The little brother he'd sacrificed his arm to make sure could stay with him. And he was Ed's only family.

"Well, we'd better get moving, I'm afraid we have to walk outside the school grounds first, however."

"Why?"

"We cannot apparate and disapparate within the school grounds. It's a safety measure."

"Ah, I see." That was actually a good thing, Ed guessed. Otherwise there would be a serious flaw with the security around here.

And so Ed began hopping his way back through the castle.

"I would like to thank you for looking after your fellow students, Edward."

"It's nothing. I knew how to defend myself, they didn't, it's really a no-brainer."

Dumbledore chuckled. "That may be, Edward, but it was still a very selfless act, and I commend you for it."

Ed just nodded.

"Oh, and the school will of course cover the repair fee."

"Really? It's not necessary, you know."

"I insist. You destroyed your leg defending my students from a troll. It was hardly your fault."

"I don't think Winry will agree, but have fun trying to convince her."

Dumbledore chuckled again.

They made their way out into the school grounds and were walking past Hagrid's cabin just as a shocked shout stopped them. Hagrid was leaning out of his window, staring at Ed. "EDWARD! WHA' HAPPENED TER YEH?!"

Ed hopped closer to the window. "The troll broke my prosthetic, it's not as bad as it looks, Hagrid."

"It did? But why weren't yeh up in Gryffindor Tower?"

"We kind of heard about a fellow student going after it, so we went after her again. Knocked out the troll easily enough, but it fell on my automail and crushed it, so we're going to fetch my mechanic and another friend of mine."

"Oh. Well, why don' yeh come visit me for tea tomorrow then? I'd like ter hear more about it."

"Sure. See you, Hagrid!"

"See yeh, Ed! Oh, and Professor Dumbledore, sir, I hope it goes well!"

"Thank you, Hagrid."

And so they walked to the end of the school grounds and Ed looked expectantly up at Dumbledore who seemed to have a sudden thought strike him.

"I suggest you remove your amulet before we arrive."

"Oh, yeah." Ed slid it over his head and put it inside the pocket of his school robes.

"Well, let's go," Dumbledore said, linking his arm through Ed's and the next moment Ed was being squeezed in a way that couldn't be healthy before he landed in the front yard of a very familiar yellow house.

Ed didn't care, though, because that was the moment he emptied his stomach on the ground in front of him.

Dumbledore patted him on the shoulder. "That is very normal the first time." He flicked his wand and made the sick disappear.

Ed was still only being kept on his feet by the man's arm, and wobbled slightly as Den came running at him, barking. He allowed Ed to scratch him behind the ear before he began sniffing interestedly at Dumbledore's long, grey beard.

The front door was opened and next second, a series of clanking footsteps were heard before Ed was swept into a metallic hug accompanied by a gleeful "BROTHER!" Ed was even swung around once to Al's joyful shouts of "It's so good to see you!"

Ed was put back on the ground, but was supported by Al's grip on his shoulders.

Ed grinned. "It's great to see you too, Al."

"But what happened to your leg? Are you all right? Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay, but my leg got crushed about twenty minutes ago."

"How?"

"It was a tro –"

A wrench came flying and slammed into his head, sending him to the ground. He sat up, clutching his bleeding head and looked up at the furious blonde girl standing at the front steps. "EDWARD ELRIC! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR LEG GOT CRUSHED?!" Winry looked ready to kill, and judging by the second wrench in her hand, she just might.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT! ASK HIM!" Ed pointed at Dumbledore who was calmly watching as Den chewed on his beard. He looked up at Ed's words and bowed his head.

"Ah, you must be Miss Rockbell. My name is Albus Dumbledore, I'm the headmaster at the school Ed is currently working undercover at. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Winry looked at Ed questioningly, as if trying to check if this man was being serious or not. Ed gave her an apologetic shrug.

"If I may suggest that we intrude upon your hospitality, I would like to discuss Edward's repair with you." Dumbledore then pointed his wand at Ed's head and he could feel the lump on his head disappear as well as the blood.

Winry's jaw was practically touching the ground beneath her. "Whaaa?"

"Welcome to my world," Ed said exasperatedly. "Let's just go inside."

Al helped Ed to his foot and Ed hopped over to the front steps where he gave Winry a little push in the direction of the living room. Her mouth closed, but she still looked a bit like a confused toddler.

Dumbledore was humming as he followed them inside and sat down in one of the comfy chairs in front of the living room couch. Ed steered Winry towards the couch as Dumbledore conjured up four cups and a tea kettle that poured the hot drink into the cups. He then made a lot of small cakes and pasties appear as well, just to rub it in. "Please enjoy yourself," he said pleasantly.

Winry was looking curiously at Ed while pointing at Dumbledore.

Ed leant forwards and picked up a cupcake, shoving it into his mouth. He then picked up a small lemon cake and sat back in the couch, sighing. "Well, you better explain because I'm not doing it."

"Ah, very well, Edward. As you may have guessed, Miss Rockbell, the school that Edward is currently attending isn't what you'd refer to as "normal" in the regular sense, although I may assure you that it is a very normal place for my kind."

"Englishmen?" Winry asked confusedly.

Dumbledore chuckled. "No, Miss Rockbell, wizards. I'm a wizard."

"Wizard, huh? I can see why you've been so secretive about your mission, Ed," came Granny Pinako's voice from the kitchen. The tiny woman walked into the living room, sitting down in the chair next to Dumbledore and looked him up and down.

"Hey, Granny," Ed said, figuring that Dumbledore would have to sort out this mess. The way Ed saw it, it was Dumbledore's castle, AKA his troll, AKA his responsibility.

"So what you're saying is that you're undercover at a magic school?" Winry asked, still a bit confused by it all.

"Yup."

"And exactly how did you break your leg?" Her voice was turning dangerous.

"A troll fell on me."

That earned Ed another wrench to the head. "OF ALL THE STUPID EXCUSES YOU HAD TO GO WITH A TROLL?!"

"I'M NOT LYING! IT REALLY WAS A TROLL! AND I WAS SAVING THREE OTHER STUDENTS FROM BEING KILLED BY IT IN THE PROCESS!"

"EDWARD ELRIC! HOW COULD YOU LET MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION BE DESTROYED BY A FAIRYTALE CREATURE?! I SLAVED OVER THIS!"

Another wrench and then everything turned black.

Ed woke to the sounds of angry murmuring and clanking. He was sitting in the chair usually used for docking. He looked over at Winry who was removing the meagre remains of his automail leg from his port. "Oh, you're awake? Good. I did some measurements while you were out and I need to adjust your right arm, so that one's coming off too. Granny is working on finding a spare leg for you. We're leaving for Hogwarts once I'm done removing your arm and leg and you've got the spare on so you can stand on your own."

Ed sighed.

_So much for hiding the "double amputee" bit._

"It's no good sighing. Frankly, Edward, you shouldn't have gone off on that mission without coming in for maintenance first. You need to treat your automail with the respect it deserves."

"It's not that I don't respect it! It's just that I end up in a lot of dangerous situations that aren't even my fault!"

"Then why don't you oil it regularly?!"

"Don't have the time, I guess," Ed mumbled.

"How can you forget to apply the wonderful smell of oil?" she asked dreamily.

"Crazy gearhead."

"Yeah, well, listen here, alchemy freak, as long as you're wearing my automail, you're gonna have to treat it like it should! I've heard the way that poor arm creaks as you move it!"

Ed just shut out the sound of her babbling as she began describing the wonders of anatomical engineering.

* * *

Ed was soon standing up, trying to get the hang of his spare leg. It was much more limited than automail, after all, this was just a spare. He threw on his school robes again and limped his way back to the living room.

Al was chatting pleasantly with Dumbledore as he entered the room. "Hey, I need you to magic me another boot or my balance will be off," Ed said to the old man, gesturing towards the five centimetre height difference between his legs. "Your troll destroyed mine."

"Oh, yes, of course." Dumbledore waved his wand and Ed felt himself being lifted sideways so that the ground levelled out beneath him. He lost his balance slightly at the abrupt change, but caught himself. "Well, Edward, I suppose we should be leaving."

"Yeah, you ready to go, Al?"

"Yes!" Ed was a bit surprised that Al was sounding so excited about this. But he had always been one to see things in such a positive way. And so, even though he found it annoying that he thought magic was such an exciting thing, it still made him smile.

"I suggest I take the two of you with me now and that I return for Miss Rockbell once we arrive."

"Sure."

Dumbledore stood up. "Grab an arm each and we'll get going."

Ed did as he was told, steeling himself for the sickness that he would soon be subjected to. He limped over to Dumbledore and just before he grabbed his arm, closed his eyes to see if it would help. There was the unhealthy squeezing sensation and then his knees buckled slightly as he landed on the ground. He managed to stay on his feet this time, seeing as how he now was prepared and equipped with a left leg. He managed to fight down the wave of sickness that threatened to engulf him and looked up at Al who had put a steadying hand on his left shoulder.

"Well, I'll return with Miss Rockbell within a few minutes." And then Dumbledore swiftly disappeared with a loud CRACK.

"I've been dealing with this nonsense for the last few months, now. It's good to have you here, Al, otherwise I think I'd be climbing the walls soon." Ed looked up at his brother and still felt the elation at being together with him again.

Al chuckled. "Is that the school up there?"

"Yeah. And we're invited for tea over at that hut over there tomorrow. We met Hagrid on the way down here."

"Oh, cool! I've wanted to meet him! Is he really as big as you say?"

"Yup. So what happened while I was out?"

"Professor Dumbledore told us about the castle and how I have to say that I'm a friend who's interested in coming as an exchange student next year. Then he discussed the matters of your repairs with Winry before she began working on your automail. Other than that, he's only been telling me about the school and about magic in general as opposed to alchemy. It's really quite interesting."

"Uh-huh," Ed said, not entirely convinced about the last part of the statement.

He looked down at his robes, trying to cover up the spare leg although there really weren't any point in doing so, there was no way he'd be able to hide it, not really, and his missing arm was pretty obvious to anyone who was watching the way his empty sleeve was gently flapping in the mild breeze.

"I wonder what's taking him so long?" Ed said. It was frankly chilly outside.

"Oh, he said something about getting Winry a bag with some sort of expansion spell so that she could bring all her gear with her."

"Of course he did…"

Dumbledore appeared with a green-looking Winry three minutes later. She too ended up emptying her stomach on the ground before her and Dumbledore patted her gently on the back as he magicked the vomit away.

"Well, let's get you three inside," Dumbledore said as Winry had gathered herself enough to walk.

"Isn't magic fun, Winry?" Ed whispered, getting back at her for the multiple wrenches.

"Don't say anything more right now." She looked pretty sick as the moonlight fell upon her features, so Ed decided to let it rest. She was carrying a rucksack as well as a small bag and Ed was frankly curious as to which one contained the automail gear seeing as how she didn't seem to be bothered by carrying either.

They made their way up to the school pretty slowly because Ed's balance was seriously off now that he had two lost steel limbs and had a new one which was much lighter and much harder to use now that he was used to the automail.

They made their way over to the teachers's lounge to find Professor McGonagall.

"Ah, Professor, would you mind helping to set Winry and Alphonse here up in the Gryffindor Tower while I deal with the rest of this troll business? I would suggest you set Winry up in the boys's dorm, otherwise Edward won't be able to access his mechanic."

"Of course, Professor," she answered.

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall." Dumbledore turned to the three teens. "Well, I bid you three a good night, and if there is any trouble, please don't hesitate to ask for assistance. I hope you have a pleasant stay."

"Thank you, sir," Winry and Al said while Ed just gave him a two-fingered salute with his left hand.

"If you would follow me," Professor McGonagall said.

And so they did.

"So, Miss Winry, you are his mechanic?"

"Yes, Professor."

"But how old are you?"

"Thirteen."

"Isn't that a bit young?"

"Trust me, she and her grandmother are the best there is," Ed said. Winry smiled at him.

"Very well. And you, Mister Alphonse, how old are you?"

"I'm twelve, Professor."

That seemed to surprise the Professor more than a little. She probably hadn't seen any seven-foot tall twelve-year-olds before.

"Well, I hope you will enjoy your stay here at Hogwarts. I'm afraid that you will have to use Winry's temporary workshop as your bedroom, Alphonse, we don't have any spare room in the other boys's dorms."

"That's fine, Professor."

Ed had a feeling that Al was just relieved that he would avoid a lot of uncomfortable questions with this arrangement.

"I hope that this will be fine with you too, Winry?"

"Oh, yes, we're old friends, so it's no trouble, Professor. Thank you for your help."

They got closer and closer to the Gryffindor common room, and all Ed could say about what he expected from the other students as they saw his appearance was that Harry would probably get a break from people gawking at his scar.

Professor McGonagall said the password and the portrait hole opened, revealing a bunch of both scared and relieved faces. Ed climbed inside and watched as the room went quiet at seeing his missing arm and the prosthetic leg which had become very visible as Ed stepped through the opening. When Ed was then followed by Al, Winry and Professor McGonagall, the room went from quiet to holding its breath.

"Come, I'll get you two set up," Professor McGonagall said to Al and Winry, which left Ed with a common room full of people dying to ask him questions. As soon as Professor McGonagall had disappeared up the stairs, Ed was suddenly pulled sideways by the sleeve of his right arm and had a whole group of students swarming around him, touching his automail port and the prosthetic leg.

"What happened?"

"Who were they?"

"How did you lose your arm?"

"How did you lose your leg?"

"Was it at the same time?"

"Does it still hurt?"

"Wow! Why is your shoulder metal?!"

"So that's why you're left-handed!"

"How can you move the way you do?"

Ed was a hundred per cent sure that he'd take soldiers over nosy students any day, at least they had the decency to ask first if it was okay to ask.


	10. Chapter 10

**So sorry about not updating, people! I had a writer's strike, but I will certainly NOT abandon this fic, even if I keep an irregular update schedule.**

**And also: WOW! More than 120 follows! Thank you so much, guys!**

**And I will just let this disclaimer count for the rest of the story: I do not own FMA or HP.**

* * *

**Chapter ten**

Ed saw what looked like a firework go off and felt someone grab his arm and drag him off to the dormitories. It was Ron, Harry walking ahead of him. Ed found his way up the staircase awkwardly because of the new leg and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I managed to convince Fred and George to set off one of their Filibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start Fireworks so that we could get you out of there," Ron explained.

"Oh, thanks." Ed noticed that Harry and Ron were staring at his face as if trying to behave politely, but they were obviously fighting not to look. "You're allowed to see, you know. And ask whatever you like."

"Where did you go? Who were those people?" Harry asked tactfully just as Ron asked "where's your arm, mate?"

"They're childhood friends of mine. The one in the armour, Alphonse, he's an alchemist thinking of coming here next year as an exchange student and wanted to see for himself. He's the one I've been sending all those letters to. I've known him for a long time. He's kind of like my little brother."

Ron and Harry looked at him with open mouths. "H-how old _is_ he?"

"Twelve."

"Why does he wear that armour?"

Ed had discovered that these people would probably keep digging if he said the usual "it's a hobby", so Ed went with the next best option that would stop people from asking. "He got a disease when he was smaller and has a lot of scars. He doesn't like people seeing them."

Ron and Harry looked downwards with appropriate looks of sorrow.

"The girl is named Winry Rockbell, she's my mechanic. She's the one who designed my automail. She said my arm needs adjusting too, which is why it's gone."

"So she's an automail mechanic? Do you think she'd show me how it works?" Ed looked to his right, only now realising that Hermione was in the room with them too. He was a bit confused by her presence, but Ron and Harry looked okay with it, so Ed guessed he'd give her a chance.

"It's your funeral. If you show some interest, you better be prepared for a long, long lecture. But if you start throwing wrenches, I'll hit you, you get me?" Ed said. One thing was being hit by Winry, but there was no way he was going to be chased with a wrench by a witch that he hardly knew.

There was a knock at the door and Al came inside. Harry and Ron still looked intimidated by him, so Ed guessed that they were in for a surprise.

"Hi, Al. This is Harry, Ron and Hermione."

"Hi! I'm Alphonse El-_heim_. Elheim. But you can call me Al if you want to."

_Smooth, little brother. _

Harry and Ron were gaping stupidly. They had probably imagined some very intimidating sounds emerging from the armour, not that sweet, young voice.

Hermione was the only one who seemed to think about social etiquette and walked over to him and shook his hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Al. I hope you'll like Hogwarts."

"Thank you! I'm sure I will!"

There were a couple of knocks on the door and then Mustang came inside the room too, still wearing those ridiculous black robes. Ed only just stopped himself from groaning, reminding himself of his cover. Not having his uncle check on him after nearly getting crushed by a troll would be kind of suspicious. And so Mustang was wearing an appropriate look of concern mixed with anger.

_Oh shit, he's not gonna lecture me, right?_

He looked at Al, obviously having been informed that he was here too, for there was no surprise on his face. "Edward, are you all right? Professor Dumbledore told me you were back."

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ed really didn't want to have to get yelled at right now that he had his brother back.

Mustang walked up to him and looked down at him sternly. "Are you sure?" He was scrutinising him with the same look he had used as he asked that question ever since Ed had nearly got away with coming into the office with a broken rib. The man hadn't been too happy about that and didn't seem to trust Ed to be completely honest about his injuries since.

"_Yes_," Ed said. "It crushed my automail leg and that's it, I swear." Ed could feel the tension in the room. Harry, Ron and Hermione knew Mustang as their teacher and Ed had a feeling that they weren't exactly commonplace inside the dorms.

Mustang scrutinised him for a few more seconds and then sighed. "I still can't believe you fought a troll out of all things. What did Winry say?"

"What do you think? She knocked me out with a wrench. She's setting things up upstairs now."

"Ah, of course. So how's your head now?"

"Dumbledore fixed it."

"Good." He turned towards Al. "Hello, Alphonse, it's good to see you again, I hope that you're doing well?"

"Yes, very well."

"I'm glad to hear it. Now if you four would excuse me, I would like to have a word in private with my nephew."

"Of course, sir!" Al said, walking towards the door together with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Once the door shut behind them, Mustang looked down at Ed sternly. "Amulet off."

Ed did as he was told while Mustang took his own off. "Now, Fullmetal: please tell me how leading your charge to fight a troll is fulfilling your duty as a bodyguard?" he said, barely keeping his voice level. Ed opened his mouth to speak, but Mustang interrupted him. "And don't feed me the story that Granger tried fighting it on her own because she is clearly too smart to do so. So you better tell me just what the hell happened!"

"Why should you care? I stopped the troll, and Harry's unharmed and that's all you need to know."

Mustang sighed exasperatedly and sat down next to him. "We are undercover as an uncle and nephew and that means that I actually need to know what's going on in your life more than what I am expected to as your CO if we are to keep our cover. So tell me what happened."

Ed groaned. "Ron said bad things about Hermione, she heard him and spent the rest of the day crying in the toilets according to some of the girls. Then came the troll and we panicked. I tried to tell Harry and Ron to keep walking to the common room while I fixed it. They threatened to tell Percy if I went without them, so I told them to stay out of my way as we went because it was a fucking troll and Hermione had a little stick to use to defend herself! So we went, we somehow managed to lock it in with her, I fought it and as it fell, I crashed into Harry and Ron and so it fell on me because I had to push them away. So Hermione was nice enough to take the blame so that none of us were expelled. Happy?"

Mustang sighed. "Not particularly. So her being here, does that mean that you're friends now?"

"I don't actually know because I went to Resembool instead of talking to her."

"And all those rumours I've been hearing about you and her kissing in the broom closets?"

"NOT YOU TOO! I DRAGGED HER INTO **_ONE _**BROOM CLOSET **_ONCE_**! THAT'S ALL!"

Mustang looked confused. "And why did you do that in the first place?"

Ed really didn't want to admit to having his cover blown, but at least it was a hell of a lot better than having the bastard tease him endlessly about Ed's assumed love-life. "She read my mail and she knows about our cover and that I'm guarding Harry. I was not kissing her because, unlike you, _I'm __**not**__ a womanising bastard!_" Ed growled. "Now can I _please_ go back to talking to my little brother?"

Mustang, however, grew stern and alarmed. "She read your mail? You let it just lie about?! Why haven't you told me this before?! She could blow the entire mission!"

"So what was I supposed to do? She stole it while I was chasing Peeves because he stole my amulet!"

Mustang seemed to be in pain from the last piece of information. "You waited two months to tell me?!"

"It's fine! She hasn't said anything! I warned her to tell me if something unusual happens and not to investigate it herself. It scared her! She was scared by the information and learnt her lesson and she's kept her mouth shut and it's fine!"

"Fine, but I'm having a word with her too." Mustang said after a long, heavy, angry sigh. He took a look at Ed's missing arm. "How long does Winry think she'll be here?"

"The leg needs to be rebuilt from scratch and the arm needs adjusting, so a week since Al has sworn to make sure that she doesn't pull any all-nighters."

"So you're going to have to go a week without your limbs?"

Ed sighed. "Yeah. But at least I'll get to have a week with Al, though, so it's worth it."

"You know that this makes you an easier target?"

"I'm also being escorted by a large suit of armour! I'll be fine, now leave and let me be together with my brother!"

Mustang sighed and walked over to the door. "Just remember that there is also a potential mass murderer in this school too, so I suggest you keep your eyes peeled. Good night, Fullmetal."

"Sure, Colonel."

Mustang left and Ed slid his amulet back on as the others re-entered the dormitory.

* * *

Ed was woken by Ron shaking his shoulder, and Ed grunted. "No, wanna sleep."

"Sorry, mate, but we have classes."

Ed groaned and sat up, only to fall back into the bed sideways as he leaned himself on his right arm out of habit, meaning that he supported himself on empty air. "Right, troll." Ed groaned again, sitting up properly this time and moved to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, the spare getting caught in the covers slightly, but Ron had already moved to help free him before Ed could do it himself. Ed felt slightly embarrassed about it, but he mumbled a "thanks" because Ron was really just trying to help.

Ed got to his feet a bit awkwardly, his balance was seriously affected by the missing limbs and the spare leg, but he found his way over to his trunk and pulled out his robes, getting dressed slightly awkwardly as Ron stood there, looking as though he desperately wanted to help, but knew Ed well enough not to ask. "Where's Harry, by the way?" Ed asked, taking his school robes with him over to the bed before he began rolling up the left trouser leg with his left hand before carefully placing the spare leg inside it.

"Upstairs. He's trying to convince Hermione to come to breakfast, she's really interested in learning all she can about automail as we don't have it here. Al and Winry having already eaten breakfast doesn't help."

Ed nodded, happy that he had thought about arranging it with Al and Winry last night that they would have their meals when there were hardly any students around as it meant that they could hide the fact that Al didn't actually eat. Ed was a bit disappointed that he wouldn't get to be around his brother at mealtimes, but it really was the safest option.

Ron eyed Ed's tired face as Ed rubbed his eyes one at a time before he yawned and pulled on his shirt. "How much sleep did you get?" he asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Not much… it's a bit weird to sleep without my arm there, but I'll get used to it. It's only for a week after all." In fact, Ed had been forcing himself to stay awake after he woke at midnight, covered in sweat after having a vivid nightmare about the night the transmutation failed. It was most likely brought on by the sudden lack of his arm and Ed hadn't dared to fall asleep in case he started shouting in his sleep like he sometimes did and ended up saying something that got him arrested. Ed had fallen asleep sometime after six o'clock, meaning that he had got a total of about two-and-a-half hours of sleep. He had considered going upstairs and keep Al company, but Ed had a feeling that if he woke Winry up, then there was no way he'd manage to convince her to go back to sleep instead of working on his limbs as she could probably guess why he was awake in the first place.

"Oh, I didn't think about it, but I guess it must be weird not to even have your shoulder there," Ron said, looking at him with apologetic comprehension.

Ed shrugged his left shoulder and pulled on the black robes before moving on to the shoes.

"You sure you don't want any help with that?"

"Nah, I'm fine," Ed said, pulling open the top drawer of his nightstand before taking out a piece of chalk. Ed quickly drew a transmutation circle on the headboard of his bed and touched his hand to it, and next second he had a wooden shoehorn in his hand, meaning that he could get past the problem of tying his shoelaces.

And so Ed stood up a minute later, his feet now in his trademark leather boots. Ed put out his hand to steady himself, but otherwise he was doing good. He threw his school bag over his shoulder, causing his balance to be even more off, but he made his way to the dormitory door nonetheless, even if his pace was annoyingly slow in order to actually keep himself vertical. "Let's go, and thanks for waking me."

Ron looked even more concerned and sighed as he opened the door for him. "You sure you don't want me to carry your bag for you at least?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I just need to get used to it, that's all. Don't worry."

And so Ed limped his way down the stairs, leaning heavily on the banister, practically hearing his little brother sigh at his stubbornness.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm so sorry it's been so long since my last update, I've been having some really big problems with my migraines! I hope to be able to update sooner, and in the meantime I would just like to thank you all for your support! :D**

* * *

**Chapter eleven**

Harry and Hermione caught up with them pretty soon as Ed was moving at a frankly embarrassing pace because of his school bag. It really messed with bis balance because he needed to hold the straps as he walked so that it wouldn't just fall off. Which again meant that he had a lot of extra weight added on the fake limb that he wasn't used to walking on.

It took them a total of one minute of awkward walking before Hermione yanked the bag away from him with a scoff. "Honestly, Edward! Why do you insist on making it more difficult for yourself?"

Ed turned around to glare at her. "Hey! I can handle it!"

Hermione just threw it over her right shoulder so that it crashed against her own bag with a light "boomf." She looked at him with a triumphant smile. "Let's just call it Equivalent Exchange for you saving my life yesterday."

Ed groaned. Of course she had to use that against him. Ed grunted and continued walking at a slightly faster pace than before, now able to use his left arm to steady himself. Ed got a lot of funny looks as they passed a few groups of students, but he didn't care.

And so they finally found their way to breakfast with only fifteen minutes left to eat and get themselves to Snape's lesson.

They ate quickly enough and only had five minutes left until the lessons started. Al wouldn't be joining them until next week as him and Winry would surely need some time to adjust to the school and would get today as well as the weekend to get to know the magical community better, according to what Professor McGonagall had decided upon together with Winry last night.

This meant that it was only the four of them that had to run to get to Snape's dungeon on time for the lesson, and even then they were barely going to make it.

Problem was that Ed couldn't _run._

Or _jog._

Or _walk_ at a regular pace.

"Run, it's better that you three get there on time than all of us getting detention!"

The other three could see Ed's point, but they didn't seem to be willing to move. "Just take my bag and run! I'll be fine! GO!"

They didn't move.

"You guys owe me for yesterday, now run!"

Ed didn't really think that they owed him anything, but after a few nervous glances, the three of them finally got some sense in their heads and Ed watched as they ran down the corridor. Ed knew how busy Harry was with Quidditch training as well as homework, so he really didn't need Snape to give him detention with the first game of the season just around the corner.

"Oh, my, young Muggle, you're in for a spot of trouble, aren't you, dear?" a painting of a thin, elderly witch asked him as she strolled through the paintings to keep up with him. She had white hair going down to her neck and she looked to be about seventy. She had green gardening gloves on her hands, large boots and a sun hat as well as a wind proof blue jacket and a pair of old jeans.

"I know I am, no need to rub it in," Ed said impatiently. "Why are you following me?"

"I was tending to my roses when I noticed you and I wanted so much to know what Muggles sound like! I bought these clothes in a muggle shop and they really are so perfect for my gardening! You know, a lot of people think I'm odd for liking Muggle plants, but I really do find it relaxing when they don't try to bite me!" The old biddy laughed at that.

_Great._

"But you know, Mister Muggle, it was really quite the feat to beat that troll single-handedly! But it was very irresponsible of you, you could have got yourself hurt even more, and trolls really can be nasty buggers! My begonias get nightmares about them from time to time."

Ed wasn't even going to answer. He was already late for his lesson and was certainly not in the mood for a discussion on plants with a batty, old _painting._

The woman, who was apparently called Irene, came to a halt as Ed got to the corridors leading down to the dungeons. "Oh! But I should get going back, I'm already lost!" She laughed again. Ed kept walking as the woman started shouting to another picture. "Oh, Paulie! I did it again!"

Edward would never really get used to the paintings in this place. Also, they were really annoying most of the time. Most of the subjects treated him like an interactive zoo exhibit and some of them were downright racist. He'd even had one of an executioner trying to ask him if wizards heads and Muggle heads sounded the same as they fell into the basket.

Like how the hell should he know that?

Ed finally reached the classroom and opened the door, finding the Gryffindors looking worried and the Slytherins sneering at him, looks of glee forming on their faces at his obvious lack of limbs. "Sorry, Professor Snape," Ed said, looking at Snape. With the Slytherins present, he wasn't going to say anything about the fact that he was slowed down considerably by the prosthetic. He wasn't going to admit to any sort of weakness, especially as it wouldn't do anything to keep Snape from giving him detention.

"Detention, Elric. And thirty points from Gryffindor," Snape said. "Now I suggest you go to your desk or I will make it fifty, you are already ten minutes late, so you'll stay behind after the lesson so that we can discuss the manner of your detention afterwards."

It took Snape more than five minutes to sneer through his description of the detention that he was receiving. Apparently it would have to wait until after Al and Winry had gone home because the teachers had been informed that Winry was in need of being able to fetch Ed at a moment's notice in case she required to take extra measurements and things like that. Ed was therefore going to spend the next Saturday testing out his new automail by cleaning the Owlery, no alchemy allowed.

Basically, Ed was going to spend most of the next weekend scrubbing bird poop.

It was only when Ed came out into the corridors ten minutes after the lesson ended and found the hallway vacated because the others had classes to get to, that he realised that Snape had probably held him back in order to make sure that the Slytherins were gone.

* * *

It was three in the afternoon that Ed and Al made their way towards Hagrid's hut, Winry currently occupied drooling back in Amestris at Dumbledore's expense. It had begun when she had watched the charts over the standard temperatures during winter in the area, and her first reaction was to hit Ed with a wrench for not telling her sooner. Apparently his automail wasn't built for temperatures below so-and-so, and so now Dumbledore was currently taking her to Rush Valley to get the necessary metals and equipment, which had had Winry squealing with joy, stars in her eyes as she took a pirouette of ecstasy.

Harry and Ron were busy catching up on their homework as Ron wasn't good at planning ahead and Harry was too busy with Oliver Wood's constant Quidditch training because of the upcoming match in three weeks. So Hermione was currently helping them out with that, all three of them telling them to say hello to Hagrid.

"Careful, Ed!" Al exclaimed as Ed's left leg slid in some mud on their way down to the hut. Ed hardly got any time to even lose his balance before his little brother was holding his shoulders, steadying him. "You're going to hurt yourself," he said, worry evident in his voice.

Ed went from annoyed to feeling his stomach clench at the way Al sounded. It was clear that he was fascinated by the magical community, but it also troubled him that Ed was a potential target for the same person that may be after Harry. Alphonse liked magic, yes, but he didn't like the fact that someone could use it to hurt his brother while he was in a different country altogether.

Ed turned around to face him and put his hand on his arm, the cold metal a cruel reminder of just how much time Ed was wasting here when he should be researching the Philosopher's Stone. "Al, I'm sorry, but I'll be fine. Just eight more months, and then we'll be back to tracking down the Stone."

Al was about to say something, but they were interrupted by the sound of footsteps, and Ed looked behind Al to see Mustang walking towards them. "Hello, boys," he said pleasantly, his hands in the pockets of his trousers, his teacher's robes nowhere to be seen. Instead he was merely wearing a white shirt, black trousers and a dark grey vest, all of it neatly ironed. Ed had to say that the man's idea of "casual clothes" was a bit too formal. At the same time, Ed could see that it sort of fit his cover, although he wouldn't be surprised if he wore that at home too. It also allowed him to keep that look of "I do not tolerate any sort of bratty behaviour from you students, even in my leisure time," especially as his official State Alchemist pocket watch was attached to the vest.

What Ed didn't understand was why he was here right now. "What are you doing here?" Ed asked as Al turned around to face him too with an "oh, hello, Colonel!"

Mustang just walked up to them, still looking uncle-y, a little smile on his face, pulling off his amulet, which Ed and Al immediately did too. "Rubeus heard that Winry and the others were unable to come for tea, so he invited me too instead as you're not the only one that has Friday afternoons off," he explained casually, still keeping that air of not being infuriating to keep their cover. "He thought that with the way that you're my nephew and ward, that I too would enjoy some catching up with your best friends as they are here for such a short time, especially as you and me have a very limited time together already with all the lessons in your case, and preparations for classes in mine, as well as all the homework I have to mark. He has been inviting me over from time to time for the past two months actually," he explained pleasantly, before sighing. "I'm sorry, I know you two want some time alone to catch up, but we can't risk blowing our cover because I suddenly seem to have no interest in talking with the two of you."

Alphonse, sweet as ever, instantly replied with an "of course, sir! You're in the middle of an important mission, I wouldn't want to compromise your cover, I'm just happy I get to see Brother again!"

Mustang sighed with a nod at him. "Thank you, Alphonse."

Ed grunted. He could see his point, of course, but that didn't mean that he was happy with the situation. Of course, drinking tea at Hagrid's with Al and Mustang was better than drinking tea with _only_ Mustang. "Fine."

"But if it helps, I spoke to the Headmaster, and it seems that this current semester ends on Friday 20th of December and the new semester doesn't begin until January 5th, because it seems that most of the world outside Amestris still practices Christianity although it has never been a part of Amestrian culture. I can only guess it has something to do with the way that we are a nation built on heavily scientific beliefs, and with us constantly at war with the neighbouring nations, that piece of religious exposure never got to reach us or catch on. It's why the years are so different, because we do not follow the Christian calendar. So while it's 1912 back home, here it's 1991," Mustang explained. "My point is that they have a holiday that lasts for just over two weeks where Alphonse has been allowed to come visiting, and there is another one that lasts a bit over a week in spring. That also gives Winry a chance to do checkups on your automail."

Ed just looked at him, then at Alphonse, and he felt his heart expand with relief. He'd been thinking that he wouldn't get to see Al again before July, and now it turned out he'd be back in little under two months. Ed grinned at his little brother.

"Thank you, Colonel!" Al said cheerfully.

Mustang nodded with another uncle-y smile and put his amulet back on, Ed and Al doing the same. "I suggest we get going or Rubeus will probably start to worry you've been injured because of your leg."

Ed turned around. "Yeah, yeah, come on, Al, I think you're gonna love Fang."

"Is he really as big as you say?" Al asked, some excitement in his voice.

Ed smiled at his little brother's familiar eagerness. "He's the largest dog I've ever met," he answered, walking a bit more carefully than usual so that he wouldn't worry his brother any more than he already did.

Hagrid opened the door when they were about thirty metres away, grinning widely while holding a barking Fang back. "Hello! I saw yeh from me window!"

Ed waved, smiling, one hundred per cent certain that Al and Hagrid would hit it off. "You can let go of Fang, Al's an animal lover!"

And so the huge dog came bounding towards them, and Ed decided to step behind Al so as to be completely safe from being attacked and drooled on.

Alphonse was giggling, standing with Fang leaning his paws against his chest plate. "Hello, boy, you're really a big one!" he said happily.

"Yeh're a big fella yerself! I ought ter introduce mesself! It's Rubeus Hagrid, and yeh're Alphonse, right?" Hagrid said, a big smile on his face.

"Yes, sir, it's very nice to meet you, Ed's told me a lot about you!"

"Oh, yeh don't have ter call me "sir", jus' call me Hagrid, everyone else does."

Ed looked at Mustang behind him with a raised eyebrow. "Everyone but you," he mouthed.

"Teacher's privilege, Edward," Mustang mouthed back.

Ed rolled his eyes and deemed the coast clear enough to not be in danger of being flattened by an over-enthusiastic dog, and followed Al in the direction of the hut.

* * *

**And thank you so much for your reviews, seeing that you people enjoy this makes this so much easier to write!**


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